IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #university #students #study #subjects #future #science #technology
Nowadays, people are split into two groups.
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
First
Add a comma
,First
show examples
one
is agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
 with university programs that allow
students
 to choose
subjects
 they wish, and
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
one
 which
is disagree
Change the verb form
disagrees
show examples
 with that.In my opinion, I
am belong
Change the verb form
belong
show examples
 to the group
that
is agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
 with
flexibility
Add an article
the flexibility
show examples
 of chosen
subjects
.
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
first
 paragraph will be discussed
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
disagreement with
flexible
Add an article
the flexible
show examples
 education process.
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
second
one
 will be written the opposite of the
first
 paragraph. Some humans are confident that
students
 should not have an opportunity to choose
subjects
 they prefer due to the multitude of topics that should be covered in the common program and would be useful in real life. The reason behind
this
 is that
students
 would not select the
subjects
 that are mandatory for real life because of
subjects
 they need for
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 only.
For instance
, an
educatee
Replace the word
educator
show examples
 is not going to spend time on
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
geography since the occupation of the person will be a software engineer or a doctor.
Thus
,
educatee
Correct article usage
the educatee
show examples
 will not be oriented in the world and will not know elementary things. On the other side are located people who agree with
availability
Add an article
the availability
show examples
 of
students
 to get
subjects
 they would like.To illustrate, a disciple totally had spent more time and had increased chances to get a promotion faster at the company he or she will be working for.Suppose that
one
 student
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been studying
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 year programming only and the other
one
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been trying to learn
full
Add an article
the full
show examples
 scope of
subjects
 and after
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 both of them are going to pass an interview for a huge tech company. To conclude, the possibility of
students
 that would have an opportunity to choose
subjects
, which would be more
Correct your spelling
essential
essencial
Correct your spelling
essential
, is a huge impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their future.
Submitted by Allazhar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
What to do next:
Look at other essays: