IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the government should increase tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthy. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #tax #food
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the
government
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 should increase tax on junk
food
Use synonyms
 as a motivation
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to eat healthy
food
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. In my opinion, if there is at least a minimal chance to get humans healthier, it should be tried.
Thus
Linking Words
,
to grow
Change the verb form
growing
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tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
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 is an interesting approach to get
healthier
Correct article usage
a healthier
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 nation in a long term.
In
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This
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this
Linking Words
 essay will be discussed an agreement with the approach.
First
Linking Words
 of all, for a
Use synonyms
person
Add a comma
,person
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 the climbing tax could help to become healthier.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
person
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 will have more energy, motivation, and, probably, more time to do everything the
person
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 planned to do.
Thus
Linking Words
, students would wish to study,
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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earn scholarships, to get better grades and
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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.
Consequently
Linking Words
, to pass interviews better,
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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get higher
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
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, and earn promotions faster. So, healthier
people
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 could work better, earn more money, live
Correct article usage
the lifes
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lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
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 they wish, and,
consequntly
Correct your spelling
consequently
, help the
government
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 via
taxes
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. On the other side, there is an advantage for the
government
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
people
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 who do not want to be healthier and still wish to eat fast
food
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 whether
taxes
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 are
Correct your spelling
increasing
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increating
Correct your spelling
increasing
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 or not, they will pay to the
government
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making
Wrong verb form
make
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 it better by
taxes
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.
Accordingly
Linking Words
, the
government
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 will build a better infrastructure, schools, universities,
parks
Correct word choice
and parks
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,
allocate
Correct word choice
and allocate
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 a budget to help families who need the support. To sum up,
people
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 would be healthier, the
government
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 would be
more rich
Replace the words
richer
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, the nation will be happier and live longer
Correct your spelling
lives
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
 with
huge
Add an article
a huge
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 range of emotions. Raced
taxes
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 should make a
Correct your spelling
positive
possitive
Correct your spelling
positive
 reaction in the future for every
person
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 living in the country where
taxes
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
Use synonyms
 will be higher rather than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy
food
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unhealthy food
  • junk food
  • calorie-dense
  • taxing
  • incentivize
  • manufacturers
  • prohibitively expensive
  • disproportionately
  • low-income households
  • healthcare costs
  • obesity
  • diet-related diseases
  • punitive measures
  • lifestyle choices
  • government intervention
  • food industry
  • economic impact
What to do next:
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