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Band 5.5

Some people believe it is essential to include physical education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #education #classes #curriculum #children #time #subjects
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The School schedule is full of different subjects. One type of them is undoubted, another has numerous questions. One of the
second
Linking Words
type
Change to a plural noun
types
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 of
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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 is Physical
education
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. Should Physical
Education
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 be part of the school schedule? On the one hand, Physical
Education
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 ought to be part of
education
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, because of the mood of the class,
students
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 have a chance to relax from boring and direful
lessons
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 like math or biology. During
PE
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 a student's brain is relaxing, so physical
education
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 decreases the risk of
students
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 burnout and reduces stress.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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 physical exercises are a source of the hormone of happiness called dopamine, so Physical
education
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lessons
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 make
students
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 happier. School life is not only about academic knowledge, it is
also
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 about having fun and being happy.
On the other hand
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,
PE
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 classes are useless and simply a waste of
students
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' time. Due to a busy student’s time
schedule
Add a comma
,schedule
show examples
PE
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 becomes an unnecessary burden, which declines
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students
Change noun form
students'
student's
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 leisure time.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
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instead
Linking Words
 of studying necessary academic
lessons
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 like chemistry, pupils waste their golden hours on unhelpful classes.
Furthermore
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, a significant number of people strongly believe that
students
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 ought to be focused on their exam results, so all obstacles should be deleted including unnecessary subjects like Physical
education
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. To sum up, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
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 true like always is in the middle, so
PE
Use synonyms
lessons
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 ought to be optional, not obligatory.
Students
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 have to have
an
Change the article
the
show examples
 option to study academic study or to relax and have fun at
PE
Use synonyms
lessons
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 if they need that.
Submitted by oimigle on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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