"Prevention is better than cure". Out of country's health budget, a large proportion should be deverted from treatment in spending on health education and prevention measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statment ?

#prevention #cure #country #health #budget #proportion #treatment #education #measures #statment

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is commonly believed that prevention is better than cure and that the national health budget should be directed to health education in schools and universities

in addition

Linking Words

to avoidance measures against illness. In my point of view, I partially agree with

this

Linking Words

idea and

this

Linking Words

essay will

further

Linking Words

elaborate on why I personally claim that the country's health budget should be equally divided between treatment and awareness.

To begin

Linking Words

with, it is crucial to invest significant amounts of money in education because prevention plays a strong role in dropping the population's rate of illness. Educating communities about preserving their well-being by organizing scientific educational events

while

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

convincing them to inject vaccines

improve

Correct subject-verb agreement

improves

show examples

the

overall

Linking Words

outcomes.

Moreover

Linking Words

, science and research need to be supported by the government in order to develop new strategies to prevent diseases. To illustrate, most money was internationally directed to the well-being sector during the

Covid

Correct your spelling

COVID-19

pandemic to come up with effective vaccines that would eventually stop the disease from spreading, and luckily, these investments were fruitful.

Thus

Linking Words

, it is important to prevent illnesses by educating communities and opting for avoidance measures.

However

Linking Words

, avoidance alone is not enough

due to

Linking Words

the fact that some diseases are not preventable. Illnesses occurring

due to

Linking Words

genetic or anatomic disturbance,

such

Linking Words

as cancer or neurological damage ,

for example

Linking Words

, need to be treated as fast as possible because of their fast evolution.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, these problems could be life-threatening if not taken seriously.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the government should focus on cures as well. To summarize, I personally think that it is important to equally give attention to the prevention and the treatment of diseases, as both of these measures are necessary in order to preserve the population's well-being because some illnesses are preventable but others are only curable.

Submitted by fatimazahra.kanbar on Tue Oct 25 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grade

Task Response: The essay mostly addresses the prompt and provides a balanced view on the allocation of the national health budget. It acknowledges the importance of health education and prevention measures, while also recognizing the significance of treatment for non-preventable diseases. This presents a clear understanding of the topic. However, there could have been a stronger emphasis on developing the argument for an equal division of the health budget.

grade

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay follows a logical structure with clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported with relevant examples, but the link between ideas can be improved for better coherence. Transition phrases and cohesive devices could be used more effectively to connect the ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence to guide the reader. Overall, the essay demonstrates a good understanding of coherence and cohesion but can be improved with better organization and connection of ideas.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
There have been some problems with the bus service, especially its reliability, in your area over the last two weeks. Write a letter to the manager of the bus company. In your letter • describe what the problems are • explain how these problems are affecting you • suggest what you would like the company to do
I am writing to you because I have a trouble with your service. Last week, I used the bus service of your company, but it has a lot of problems. I have been waiting for the bus for a long time at the bus station. the bus was about 30 minutes late, which does not match the time on the ticket.
5
band
Some people think that govements should spend money for faster public transportation , others think that there are other important priortities . Discuss both views and give your opinion
Few individuals have an opinion that authorities should invest in faster public transport system. while others feel that other priorities like healthcare, education and defence should be top priorities of government spending. in my opinion the former view is suitable for big metropolis whereas the latter view is important from nation interest point of view, and I will provide opinion in favour of latter view.
5
band
Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation,such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Give your opinion.
In this contemporary year, acceptance and revision have been one of the most common and debatable issues for individuals and states for years. A part of the community thinks that the way to increase essential and beneficial consequences must be through endeavor, whereas the opinion of a few groups is that on the condition that you want to solid and relax able life you ought to possess acquiesce of a number of worse events. I tend to be on the same wavelength with the initial idea for the reasons, I will demonstrate below.
6
band
Many children no longer read books and instead spend their time using modern technology. While some people think this is a positive trend, others think it is a problem. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
The modern world, driven by accelerated technological advancements has prioritised the use of devices among children rather than reading books. Certain people assume that the trend might be positive while others presume that this could be a potential problem. In this essay I will discuss both circumstances and will slightly lean on that books are more important than technology.
5
band
Every year several languages die out. This is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There are more than 50 languages spoken in the world, the most popular is the English language. By the way, every single year some languages graduate were used less and disappear. Some people believe that it would make life more convenient from speaking fewer languages. I personally think that it has both disadvantages and advantages, described in the following paragraphs.

"Prevention is better than cure". Out of country's health budget, a large proportion should be deverted from treatment in spending on health education and prevention measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statment ?

Some people think that govements should spend money for faster public transportation , others think that there are other important priortities . Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation,such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Give your opinion.

Many children no longer read books and instead spend their time using modern technology. While some people think this is a positive trend, others think it is a problem. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Every year several languages die out. This is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?