Some people think that is a government should be responsible for improving public health. Others, however, believe that everyone in the community should take part in this issue. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
After the recent global
pandemic
general Add a comma
,pandemic
health
of the messes is largely discussed. According to some people
it is on the state to control the medical situation, while other believes it should stem from each individual. Both Add a comma
,people
the
views have their own merits and demerits which will be analyzed in the upcoming subsequent paragraphs.
On the one hand, Correct article usage
apply
Correct your spelling
policymakers
policy makers
can take Correct your spelling
policymakers
few
steps, Correct article usage
a few
firstly
, constructing more Correct your spelling
playgrounds
play grounds
, jogging tracks or parks can help people to engage in extracurricular activities more, Correct your spelling
playgrounds
for instance
, the cost of the gym is not affordable for majority
. Add an article
the majority
Secondly
, introducing health
policies, for example
, Health
cards introduced by government
of Pakistan to help the underprivileged Add an article
the government
for
their medical assistance. Change preposition
with
Thirdly
, eating habits are also
major
reason behind Obesity, Add an article
a major
the major
health
diseases and other joint issues, therefore
governments should create the
awareness among people using print and electronic media to improve their habits. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, try avoiding junk foods
.
On the other side, it is often said Fix the agreement mistake
food
health
is wealth an individual can work and earn more for his family hence
they should be more careful regarding their health
. Additionally
, if everyone is doing their part root case
of any issue can be eliminated, Correct your spelling
cause
for example
, dengue is widely spreading all over the country if everyone will take the preventionary
measure i.e emptying the flower pot, Correct your spelling
prevention
keeping
the door and windows closed will significantly improve the scenario.
In conclusion, Correct word choice
and keeping
role
of government cannot be overlooked as they are the Add an article
the role
one
controlling and implementing Correct pronoun usage
ones
Correct your spelling
policies
polices
Correct your spelling
policies
however
, Add the comma(s)
,however
responsibility
lies in the society no policy will be fruitful Add an article
the responsibility
otherwise
.Submitted by ammaramaqsood60 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!