Some people think that is a government should be responsible for improving public health. Others, however, believe that everyone in the community should take part in this issue. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #government #health #community #part

After the recent global

pandemic

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,pandemic

show examples

general

health

of the messes is largely discussed. According to some

people

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,people

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it is on the state to control the medical situation, while other believes it should stem from each individual. Both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

views have their own merits and demerits which will be analyzed in the upcoming subsequent paragraphs. On the one hand,

Correct your spelling

policymakers

show examples

policy makers

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policymakers

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can take

few

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a few

show examples

steps,

firstly

, constructing more

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playgrounds

show examples

play grounds

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playgrounds

show examples

, jogging tracks or parks can help people to engage in extracurricular activities more,

for instance

, the cost of the gym is not affordable for

majority

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the majority

show examples

Secondly

, introducing

health

policies,

for example

Health

cards introduced by

government

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the government

show examples

of Pakistan to help the underprivileged

for

Change preposition

with

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their medical assistance.

Thirdly

, eating habits are

also

major

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a major

the major

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reason behind Obesity,

health

diseases and other joint issues,

therefore

governments should create

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

awareness among people using print and electronic media to improve their habits.

Moreover

, try avoiding junk

foods

Fix the agreement mistake

food

show examples

. On the other side, it is often said

health

is wealth an individual can work and earn more for his family

hence

they should be more careful regarding their

health

Additionally

, if everyone is doing their part root

case

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cause

show examples

of any issue can be eliminated,

for example

, dengue is widely spreading all over the country if everyone will take the

preventionary

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prevention

measure i.e emptying the flower pot,

keeping

Correct word choice

and keeping

show examples

the door and windows closed will significantly improve the scenario. In conclusion,

role

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the role

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of government cannot be overlooked as they are the

one

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ones

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controlling and implementing

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policies

show examples

polices

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policies

show examples

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

show examples

responsibility

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the responsibility

show examples

lies in the society no policy will be fruitful

otherwise

Submitted by ammaramaqsood60 on Tue Oct 25 2022

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Your opinion

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that is a government should be responsible for improving public health. Others, however, believe that everyone in the community should take part in this issue. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advatages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

I didn't have any nightmare travel experiences, but my friend has had such an experience.

Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online than face to face . Is this a positive or negative development?

moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?