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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe it is essential to include physical education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #education #classes #curriculum #children #time #subjects
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These days, public debate has been going on
whether
Change preposition
about whether
show examples
 physical education
classes
 should be taught to all
classes
students
. Some people believe that it is essential to include physical studies
to
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in
show examples
 children, whereas others believe that their time could be spent better-
for example
- on academic
activities
. There are quite a few benefits of exercising, especially doing it at a young age. It is evident that doing sports helps people to strengthen their physique, muscles,
stamina
Correct word choice
and stamina
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, but it
also
 helps to clear your head and calm your mind. It is not a common practice in all families to go to the gym every week, or
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 active leisure on their weekends, so including physical education
classes
 in pupils’ school curriculums would show these families’ children the importance and benefits of exercising. It is essential that children from a young age should be taught
these
Correct determiner usage
the
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 advantages of physical
activities
.
In contrast
, some may claim that
students
 should indulge more in academic subjects, not
in
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apply
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sports. The primary factor we need to take into consideration is that
students
 on some days have 8 hours of lessons, to oblige them to do physical
activities
 after
such
 a long day, would be simply inhumane. School
pupil’s
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils’
show examples
 main goal should be studying and getting good grades, any other
activities
 should be left in their consideration and management of free time.
Students
 already have a lot of academic duties,
adding
Correct word choice
and adding
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 more
classes
 to their curriculum might lead them to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
burn out
Join the words
burnout
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. On the basis of the above discussion, I believe that physical education
classes
 should be arbitrary
to
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for
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students
, not mandatory. If a child likes sports, they could go to after-school
classes
of
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for
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 football, but they should not be forced to do physical
activities
 if they do not enjoy them.
Submitted by oimigle on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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