Individual greed and selfishness has been the basis of the modern society. Some people think that we must return to the older and more traditional values of respect for the family and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, lots of

people

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

tend

show examples

trend

Correct your spelling

tend

show examples

to care about things of themselves. Some

people

Use synonyms

believe that traditional

society

Use synonyms

is better.

However

Linking Words

, whether or not

return

Fix the infinitive

to return

show examples

to the older values of respect for the family and community is a controversial issue. I deeply disagree with

this

Linking Words

idea. It is clear that the current

society

Use synonyms

is more

activity

Replace the word

active

show examples

than before.

That

Linking Words

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

means that with improving technology,

human’s

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human

show examples

life is better than before.

People

Use synonyms

who

living

Change the form of the verb

live

show examples

this

Linking Words

world

Use synonyms

can feel more

convenience

Replace the word

convenient

show examples

, safe and happy.

For example

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

can buy everything they want at home without

Wrong verb form

going

show examples

to the supermarket.

People

Use synonyms

can travel

Change preposition

apply

show examples

everywhere in one day.

People

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

can make an appointment with a doctor

Change preposition

via

show examples

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, nowadays, the

world

Use synonyms

that all the

people

Use synonyms

living in is better than the old

society

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. Maybe nobody

want

Change the verb form

wants

show examples

to return to the old one.

Moreover

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

need to care about their own things.

Such

Linking Words

as jobs, environment and family. Since they are living in a full of

competitive

Add an article

the competitive

a competitive

show examples

world

Use synonyms

. Especially young

people

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who have strong pressure.

This

Linking Words

not means

people

Use synonyms

are individual

greed

Replace the word

greedy

show examples

and

selfishness

Replace the word

selfish

show examples

. Lots of

people

Use synonyms

like to deliver aid to others when they really need help.

For instance

Linking Words

, Japan happened an earthquake in 2011,

Correct word choice

and a

show examples

lot of

people

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around

Use synonyms

world

Add an article

the world

show examples

sent

foods

Fix the agreement mistake

food

show examples

and water to Japan. The traditional values

shows

Change the verb form

show

show examples

respect for the family and community, but too

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

rules lat the

society

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cannot improve. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

the older and more traditional values have

Correct article usage

an advantage

show examples

advantage

Fix the agreement mistake

advantages

show examples

espect

Correct your spelling

aspect

. We should look forward and believe with technology increasing and higher educational

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

, the

world

Use synonyms

must be

more and more better

Change the word

better and better

better

show examples

kevin. B

Oct 25, 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

modern society
traditional values
familial bonds
community ties
collective well-being
individual gain
responsibility
care for others
neglect
isolation
honesty
respect
cooperation
individual greed
ethical conduct
social cohesion
crime rates
mental health
general happiness

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Individual greed and selfishness has been the basis of the modern society. Some people think that we must return to the older and more traditional values of respect for the family and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and tradition are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The best for the government to solve the problem of traffic congestion is providing free public transport per day, 7 day a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

You have just bought a new mobile phone from a website on the Internet. When it was delivered, the phone was faulty. Write a letter to the company. In the letter: introduce yourself; explain the situation; state what action you want to be taken.