IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

It is cruel to keep animals in zoos. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#animals #zoos
I think that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people are cruel sometimes with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animals
, more in the
zoos
, when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
zoos
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because the kids are crazy, someone, not all, but they
scared
Add a missing verb
are scared
show examples
 and are cruel
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
animals
, like monkeys, more with them because the monkeys are good
animals
, sometimes play with people that are in the zoo, or with the
personal
Replace the word
person
show examples
 that work in there,
also
 with the lions, elephants and others. In my personal opinion, I
Correct your spelling
disagree
desagree
Correct your spelling
disagree
 with
zoos
, because these
Correct your spelling
sites
citys
Correct your spelling
cities
 don'
t
 let
be
Correct pronoun usage
them be
show examples
 free to the
animals
, that they are in the jungle, or around the mountains,
also
 I think that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoos
 shouldn'
t
 exist for the
animals
 don'
t
 suffer there, they must be free, apart of that we don'
t
 know if the
personal
Replace the word
person
show examples
 that work there
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 food to the
animals
, not only food,
also
 water for that they too can stay hydrated. So I disagree with
zoos
.
Submitted by ismael.222sr on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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