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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
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Several meals and beverages manufactured by consumer goods companies that contain high rates of
sugar
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 cause many diseases. It is important to increase the price of the
products
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 that contained sweeteners in order to limit their consumption. I strongly agree with the latter opinion with some arguments. The most common disease caused by
sugar
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 is diabetes. It happened because the pancreas failed to produce a sufficient amount of insulin that has the function to maintain blood
sugar
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 levels at an acceptable rate.
Moreover
Linking Words
, another health disturbance is obesity
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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one of the causative factors is the high consumption of
sugar
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. Obesity happened if the fat accumulates under the skin tissues. Fat is formed because the body can not digest all of the
sugar
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, so it will convert into fat as an energy reserve. If people are considered obese it can trigger several diseases,
such
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 as heart disease, cholesterol, and
Correct your spelling
high blood
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high-blood
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high blood
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 pressure.
In addition
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, the government has to impose stricter rules and regulations regarding the pricing of sugary goods produced by the company.
This
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 action has to be taken in order to regulate the consumption of
sugar
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. The procedure can be implied by setting a higher rate of taxes or excise for the
products
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. If the price becomes high, society will put more consideration if they want to buy the
products
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. The regulator can
also
Linking Words
 put the limitation regarding the
sugar
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 content in every food or drink To sum up, so many negative effects that impacted our health
that
Linking Words
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 caused by overconsumption of
sugar
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. The government must make a bold move to regulate the circulation of these
products
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 in the market.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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