IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think it is better for people to change their career at least once in their life and do different kinds of jobs. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #change #career #life #kinds #jobs
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I definitely agree with the notion that individuals should
switch
Use synonyms
 their careers at least once in life. A number of arguments surround my opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
 there are some strong benefits that can come from
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
course
Use synonyms
 development.
One
Use synonyms
 of the major
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
 of changing careers
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 money. People may make more per year than they did with their previous
work
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 can help to lessen the financial burden of an individual or family.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a
course
Use synonyms
switch
Use synonyms
 brings the opportunity to learn new skills. They will have to learn new actions and meet new expectations.
This
Linking Words
 general education is formed through a
course
Use synonyms
 the change will be beneficial in the future. What is more, those who have a wide range of careers under their belt will have more
work
Use synonyms
 security in the long run.
Instead
Linking Words
 of being proficient at
Use synonyms
one
Add a hyphen
one-course
show examples
course
Use synonyms
 path, a person can be proficient with two or even more. If he loses his
work
Use synonyms
, he can seek out jobs in different career fields, as opposed to
Use synonyms
one
Add a hyphen
one-course
show examples
course
Use synonyms
 field.
Therefore
Linking Words
, his chances of landing a new
work
Use synonyms
 are greater than those who have simply held
one
Use synonyms
course
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, a
course
Use synonyms
switch
Use synonyms
 is good for breaking the monotony. It is psychologically true that whenever a person takes his first
work
Use synonyms
, he is usually excited about it; but over the
course
Use synonyms
 of time, his interest wanes and soon he begins to suffer from excruciating boredom. A
course
Use synonyms
 shift fills him with new excitement that propels him into working with renewed interest and enthusiasm.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I would like to reiterate my opinion that a
course
Use synonyms
switch
Use synonyms
 has many benefits and
instead
Linking Words
 of sticking to
one
Use synonyms
 ,job
one
Use synonyms
 should shift
course
Use synonyms
 at least once in life if not more times.
Submitted by kenetic001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: