IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Unemployment is getting increasingly serious in many countries. Some people think that students only need to get primary education while others think secondary education is necessary

#unemployment #countries #people #students #education
Nowadays nations around the world are facing a serious increment in the number of jobless people. On the one hand, few reckon that students only need to take basic learning
on the other hand
 few suggest that pursuing higher classes is necessary.
This
 essay completely agrees with the given statement about secondary education, the reason being that higher education is extremely important for those, who want to pursue their courses in technical jobs like
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
engineer
Replace the word
engineering
show examples
 or
doctor
Replace the word
doctorate
show examples
 and apart from technical knowledge it
also
 teaches the students about social responsibility in terms of donating the needy items to poor.
To begin
 with the
first
 cause of agreement with the given opinion, high school play an important role in choosing the career path for students who are interested to continue their race as a technical person where primary classes do not have a detailed syllabus to teach about working skills. To quote an instance “During the year 2012 all the countries were affected by the financial crisis, people who pursued secondary education did not lose their job because of skill set.” Another reason being people who completed higher classes could understand the problems in society in a better way when compared to those who completed only basic schooling. To give an example all the entrepreneurs in India are highly educated and take care of society through an activity called CORPORATE SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY . To conclude
this
 essay has agreed that secondary schooling is important with respect to choosing a career path and taking care of society.
Submitted by kunasanju on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: