IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone ((cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

#countries #phone #cellphone #apps #development
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These days, the methods of paying for
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
show examples
some thing
Correct your spelling
something
show examples
 is greatly different from the past.
people
Use synonyms
 for buying their needful things are often using from various apps which Set in
Add an article
a smart
the smart
show examples
smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
essay
assay
assey
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essay
 will look at some of
arguments
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the arguments
show examples
 for and against paying by apps. There are a number of benefits for paying
money
Use synonyms
 with some electronic
Correct your spelling
devices
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as mobile phone or tablet.
first
Linking Words
 and foremost, could be that it can help us to have safe and Convenient payment.When individuals utilize cash for
Add an article
the purchase
a purchase
show examples
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
show examples
, it is
possible
Add an article
a possible
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cause
Add the particle
to cause
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 to the
money
Use synonyms
 is lost or stolen. Sometimes it has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
really dangerous for
people
Use synonyms
 to
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carry
carring
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carrying
caring
carry
 a lot of
money
Use synonyms
.
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, you should not count cash
Correct your spelling
before
befor
Correct your spelling
before
 you want to pay.In that case, your
peyment
Correct your spelling
payment
 will be more exact and high security.
Another perks
Replace the adjective
Another perk
Other perks
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 would be that It actually help to
Add an article
the country
a country
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country
Change noun form
country's
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 economy with do not print banknote. We all know that
for
Change preposition
to
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make
Replace the word
making
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money
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
from
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 paper, we should cut a lot of trees and consume too much energy
such
Linking Words
 as water or electricity which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to
waste
Correct article usage
the waste
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 of nonrenewable energy.
as a result
Linking Words
, It
cause
Change the verb form
causes
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
environmental
environmenal
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environmental
pullotion
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pollution
 ,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
 today is enormous problem
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 inhabitants of the World.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some disadvantages in that case. One of the most important is that
people
Use synonyms
 usually do not carry any cash with
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will
may
Remove a modal verb
apply
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create some real hitch for them.
For example
Linking Words
, when their mobile phone
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not charge or
people
Use synonyms
 have forgotten
taking
Change the verb form
to take
show examples
 it with
themselve
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themselves
, they can not obtain anything or give any facilities. In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conclusien
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conclusion
, both
argument
Change to a plural noun
arguments
show examples
 have merits as well as demerits but
definitely
Add a comma
,definitely
show examples
 the pros outweigh the cons.
Submitted by shadi.babaei on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • safety
  • security
  • time-saving
  • cashless transactions
  • dependence on technology
  • privacy concerns
  • accessibility issues
  • financial vulnerability
What to do next:
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