These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
It is
a
human nature to find Remove the article
apply
a
greener pastures, not for Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
their self
but Correct pronoun usage
themself
themselves
also
for their future family. People
are adventurous; they love exploring, wandering and discovering new things. Until they find the satisfaction and security, they are looking for. These days, more and more people
move away from the area they were born and brought up when
they become adults.
Change preposition
in when
Mostly
Correct your spelling
Most
people
in secluded places, in the process move away from their birthplace due to curiosity. They wanted to explore what lies ahead the
border and be civilized. Some reasons are Change preposition
of the
for
education, personal growth and development and career opportunities. Change preposition
apply
People
nowadays are more brave and independent
. Correct quantifier usage
more independent
In
an early Change preposition
At
age
they already know, what they want, and have a goal of achieving it.
Add a comma
,age
On the other hand
, people
born in the city, moved to the province because, they wish for a peaceful, quiet and simple life. A place
different from Add a verb
isplace
wasplace
a
crowded and busy life in the city. They wanted to start fresh. Correct article usage
the
In addition
, there are people
who love farming, and they can fulfill
their craft in a place away from the city. Change the spelling
fulfil
Moreover
, there are a lot of business opportunities in the province.
People
migrate from other country
becauseChange the wording
another country
other countries
,
they found Remove the comma
apply
their
love of their life and chose to live Change the pronoun
the
with
their Change preposition
in
partner’s place
. There are Change noun form
partner
also
people
who wanted to live near to
their family or friends currently living abroad. Change preposition
apply
Other
reason is due to opportunities and securities that their country failed to provide, Change the wording
Another
such
as high end
or Add a hyphen
high-end
excellent
education Add an article
the excellent
system
, technology, job and others.
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
Although
leaving your hometown and the environment you used to grow with
is not Change preposition
in
easy
decision. Being far from your family is hard. Coming out of your comfort zone is a big risk. Add an article
an easy
However
, technology now a day ease
Correct subject-verb agreement
eases
the
homesicknessCorrect article usage
apply
,
since anytime video call is available. At the end of the day the outcome of the decision made, makes someone feel satisfied, happy, bolder and stronger that they were able to Remove the comma
apply
survived
and overcome the challenges. Anyway, anytime they can come and visit their birthplace if they wanted to.Change the verb
survive
Submitted by shellyfaith28 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!