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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

nowadays many people have access to compters and a large number of children enjoy playing video games .what are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

#people #access #compters #children #video #games
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nowadays,
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 are very popular in society. A number of people have access to laptops and a huge amount of kid joy consumes their
time
Use synonyms
 on X box. the trend's drawbacks outweigh the benefits.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 should outline
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
 and cons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 several drawbacks to playing
video
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games
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the majority of
children
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 effective
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 obesity among the
children
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.
In other words
Linking Words
,
children
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 who are playing
games
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, so they get overweight to sitting in one place for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 long
time
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 period.
For instance
Linking Words
, My cousin lives in Canada, but he consumes most of his
time
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 on online
games
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, so he is overweight because of
video
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games
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
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, I would like to highlight one more disadvantage of playing
games
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video
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.
children
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 who play
video
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games
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also
Linking Words
 cause
healthy
Replace the word
health
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 issues
such
Linking Words
 as
eyesight
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. Because it is not a piece of cake to play
video
Use synonyms
games
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 on
a different smart devices
Correct the article-noun agreement
different smart devices
a different smart device
show examples
 which is harmful to
eyesight
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.
For example
Linking Words
, 95% of
pakistan
Change the capitalization
Pakistan
show examples
, are effective by
eyesight
Use synonyms
 issues because they play
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as plug and PS4.
on the other hand
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, there are many drawbacks does not mean that there are no benefits to playing
video
Use synonyms
games
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.
Secondly
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,
children
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 can utilize
video
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games
Use synonyms
 to kill their free
time
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. Most
children
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 use
video
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 as their hobby.
For example
Linking Words
, my female best friend, love to play
video
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 game in her free
time
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I would like to outline useful of the way playing
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
.
Children
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also
Linking Words
 create their channels on YouTube and make their videos while playing
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
. It gives them a healthy income to live their luxurious life.
For instance
Linking Words
, one of the youtube in Pakistan Ducky Bhai was so famous and rich
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 uploading videos on YouTube.
lastly
Linking Words
, the large number of
children
Use synonyms
 playing
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 and
easy
Change the adjective
easily
show examples
accessible
Replace the word
access
show examples
 to computers. There are more pros than cons
such
Linking Words
 as
children
Use synonyms
 effective
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 obesity and effective by
eyesight
Use synonyms
 issues
an
Change preposition
at an
show examples
 early age.
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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