Most people believe that stricter punishments should be given for traffic offenses. To what extent do you agree?

#people #punishments #traffic #offenses

Nowadays, with the increase in population traffic has become a nightmare. Many people urge that stricter punishments should be given for freight violations. I strongly believe in

this

trend.

This

essay shall discuss the details of my stance with examples in subsequent paragraphs.

To begin

with, with the rising number of vehicles, stringent freight rules should be considered.

In other words

, as the standard of living has increased, individuals prefer to commute by personal vehicles and because of

Correct pronoun usage

this

show examples

,we find congestion everywhere.

This

has resulted in chaos, accidents and an increase in travel time.

For instance

, As per a report, an average human in a Banglore city has to spend around six to seven hours of their day in traffic.

Hence

, harsh and reformed transport rule is the need of the hour.

Furthermore

, each and every individual should be held responsible for their actions.

Additionally

, more police and CC TVs should be placed in affected areas.

Moreover

, the fine amount can be increased and offenders should be asked to create social awareness in public and speak on road and transport safety. To cite an example, recently one of my

Brother-in-Law

Correct your spelling

brothers-in-law

show examples

was imposed with a heavy fine for drink and driving and was forced to speak publicly and do advertisements on road safety.

Thus

, these rules help make our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

smooth. In conclusion, as discussed, breaking driving rules may lead to loss or harm to human beings. So,stern regulations should to in place to counter the issue.

Therefore

, I urge all the authorities to take

this

into account to make the world a better place to live.

Submitted by soumya.khatua on Fri Oct 28 2022

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coherence and cohesion

The introduction presents the writer's stance clearly, but needs to introduce the specific points that will be discussed in the subsequent paragraphs.

task achievement

The essay sufficiently addresses the task, providing a clear response with relevant examples. Ensure the conclusion effectively summarises the writer's position and the key supporting points.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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