Some people believe that by killing someone society is also making a crime, so, that why death penalty should be forbidden. Life in prison would be a better punishment. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays human
life
is being protected under the law of justice. Some people prefer that
Correct determiner usage
apply
life
in prison
after committing a murder, while
others think that the death penalty should be executed as soon as possible. In my opinion, I disagree that the death penalty should be forbidden and in this
essay
I Add a comma
essay,
would
explain my latter view.
Wrong verb form
will
Firstly
, it is wasting the resources that
is
provided by the government. As there would be a burden for people to pay taxes in order to keep on the maintenance. Change the verb form
are
For example
, those criminals who live in prison
are allowed to use the facilities of prison
as long as they could
. These seemed like living in isolated places where daily basis are provided without paying. Wrong verb form
can
Although
they do have some duty work, it was just some simple tasks. So, the resources required would rise as the population of the life
-sentenced in prison
forever increase
.
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
Besides
that, responsibility seems relatively untrustworthy by just being life
in prison
after a precious life
is being ended. There might be some people who plan to kill. For instance
, they could hire to kill and search for a scapegoat. Also
, if the scapegoat has well behaved as time passed
, they may Wrong verb form
passes
reward
with a release as an exception. Wrong verb form
be rewarded
While
the mastermind had gotten away flawlessly and still committed to
a crime. In the end, they will not admit it and won't realise their mistake. These endanger the community and may cause future sequela.
In conclusion, Change preposition
apply
besides
the usage of resources could be better in other domains, but also
lack of responsibility after a crime will do harm in the future. In my view, the death penalty should be preserved in order to manage the order publicity and prevent the life
lost.Submitted by yeejing2009 on
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task achievement
Your introduction sets up the issue quite well, but the phrasing of your opinion could be clearer. Make sure to articulate clearly whether you agree or disagree in the introduction and briefly outline your main points.
task achievement
While your main points are generally supported, providing more concrete and varied examples would strengthen your argument. For example, cite specific instances or studies where the death penalty has proven to deter crime.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Your ideas sometimes feel disjointed; using connecting phrases or sentences can help build a more cohesive argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow within paragraphs. Make sure each sentence logically follows from the previous one to create a clear, compelling narrative.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are a bit awkward or unclear. Reread your essay to catch phrasing errors or awkward sentences and revise them accordingly.
task achievement
You have made adequate arguments to support your opinion, demonstrating a good effort to engage with the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion.
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