IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

With modern transportation workers are increasingly mobile, and have more and more opportunities to work abroad. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or expertise.

#transportation #workers #opportunities #work #expertise
The new transportation workers are increasingly phone and have an increasing number of opportunities to work outside the
country
. In
this
 essay, I will examine both arguments and
then
 provide my own opinion. 
To begin
 with, there are many advantages of transportation workers being increasingly mobile, and having a growing number of opportunities to work abroad. The major reason
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is they will get more salary .
For example
, it became richer and it will help families for living.
Secondly
, it will learn a new language.
For instance
, it can learn his child to come
more great
Replace the words
greater
show examples
 in school.  Now let us turn to the disadvantages. There are two main drawbacks. The main reason is,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
he
she
show examples
 will feel bad when
it
Correct pronoun usage
he
she
show examples
 has free time in
his
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 day. For examine, it can not make friends because it cannot adapt to society.
On the contrary
, he cannot focus on his job because
it
Correct pronoun usage
he
show examples
 misses his family. Another reason is, in the
country
 who emigrated with it it is more expensive than his
country
. ,
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 it has a good salary because it's don't have
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own house. Having analyzed both arguments for working abroad. I think if you want to go to another
country
 to work. You should have specific money in your item because maybe will face financial crises.
Submitted by almamarisundos on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: