IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people say that universities should only offer places to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people of all ages, even if they did not well at school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #universities #offer #places #students #marks #ages #school
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Some
people
 argued that young
students
 having flying
color
Fix the agreement mistake
colors
show examples
 should be adopted in
universities
, while others
people
 supposed that the states should accept all
people
 regardless of age or
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
 are not good at school. In
this
 essay, we will discuss both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
 and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree strongly with the
second
 view. On the one hand, the majority of
students
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 marks
was
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 so they should be accepted in
universities
 is better than accepting everyone. The reason is that these youngsters will
study
 harder than others,
if
Correct word choice
and if
show examples
 the
universities
 accept them, they will be one of the
top
Change to a plural noun
tops
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
prestigious
universities
 in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
.
Moreover
, if
students
 who are not good at, they
study
 with good
students
, they will not be able to catch up with others.
Consequently
, they will not gain
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
 skills for social. So accepting
students
 having
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 marks play an important role.
On the other hand
, education is very necessary for everyone, it is a key lead to
successful
Replace the word
success
show examples
. If
universities
 do not accept
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
 who
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not have flying
color
Fix the agreement mistake
colors
show examples
, they will not
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
 knowledge and will not have social
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
. All
students
 should have a fair chance to get
their
Change preposition
into their
show examples
 chosen university. The states should encourage young
people
 to
study
 by free tuition for poor
people
 or
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
 many
chance
Change to a plural noun
chances
show examples
 for
students
 not
having
Change the verb form
to have
show examples
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 marks. That way, there will have more
people
 to contribute to the economic development of the country. In my conclusion, studying is very important. So the governments should offer a variety of
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 to help everyone
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
chance
Add an article
the chance
a chance
show examples
 to
study
.
Submitted by trancaomaitrang on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • merit-based
  • competitive environment
  • academic standards
  • innovation
  • diversity
  • mature students
  • equitable
  • inclusive admission policies
  • educational disadvantages
  • holistic admission process
  • extracurricular achievements
  • non-traditional students
  • equal opportunities
  • societal progress
What to do next:
Look at other essays: