"Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up". To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#fatherhood #motherhood #idea #women #babies #children

In my opinion,

mother

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the mother

a mother

show examples

very

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a very

show examples

important

place

Add the particle

to place

show examples

and

person

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the person

a person

show examples

who has a great influence on

children

However

, I do not agree that motherhood is only the responsibility of taking care of the

child

Remove the comma

apply

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because teaching is with both

parents

First

of all, the love and attention of

parents

plays

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play

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a big part in the life of every

child

born in

this

world.

In addition

, I can say that the upbringing of

fathers

plays an important role in the life of a

child

with

this

in mind, if a

child

does not receive the care of its

father

, it can have a negative effect on the development of the

child

On the other hand

, the role of

fathers

are

Change the verb form

show examples

not only limited to providing financial support, but they are

also

responsible for the care and upbringing of

children

. The education of

fathers

has a great influence on

children

fathers

give

junior

Fix the agreement mistake

juniors

show examples

the right way, the right study and set an example for them, so

children

become independent and strong.

Moreover

,in the eyes of juniors, the

father

is like a superhero who always protects them when they are abused by other humans.

Thus

, the son or daughter feels safer and protected under the wings of the

father

Furthermore

father

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the father

a father

show examples

can listen and give advice, when the

child

has problems. In conclusion, fatherhood should be emphasized no less than motherhood in its importance and uniqueness.

Additionally

, a

child

needs the love and support of his

parents

, and

therefore

both

parents

should play

Correct your spelling

show examples

equal

Add an article

an equal

show examples

role in raising the

child

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Fri Oct 28 2022

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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"Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up". To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?