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Writing Samples
Band 6

Once children enter school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social developments than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#children #school #teachers #influence #developments #parents
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In the contemporary ,world
children
 are subjected to numerous developments according to their age. Especially, when a child reaches the age where they enrol in a school,
however
, one will argue that educators have a greater impact on the cognitive and social
development
 of
children
 than parents. I agree that
this
 argument is valid, furthermost
this
 essay will point out some reasons behind my point. To commence with, it is arguable that
children
 have a greater impact from
teachers
 on their mental
development
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because more that they stay with their
parent's
Change the noun form
parents
parent
show examples
 younger spend time with
teachers
.
In addition
, as the parents focus on money rather than their
children
, kids develop their cognitive
skills
 through educators.
However
, educators have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 enormous responsibility, as the
children
 are going through different milestones in their brain
development
,
teachers
 should teach the mould the child's mind in different ways
such
 as, they expand their sensory motor
skills
, vocabulary
development
, reasons to argue and face challenges, understand different concepts in life. As an example, my parents worked day and night , and due to
this
 they didn’t have time to teach
skills
 I needed in my life, but my school teacher taught necessary rational
skills
 to train my mind.
Secondly
, today the bond between parent and child has reduced rapidly due to the
development
 in the job market,
as a
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
show examples
 caregivers don’t have enough time to develop their
children
's social
skills
.
Therefore
 , juveniles' community growth is taught by schools around the world, they help
children
 to communicate with others, successfully navigate challenges in their lives and establish positive attitudes. To sum up, in my point of view I agree that
teachers
 have a greater impact on
children
's life because they increase
children
's logical
skills
, as well as good self-esteem and communication
skills
,
skills
 are developed so that the younger generation build up their ability to trust and connect with society.
Submitted by wathsala.lekamge1997 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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