There are many different types music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country

People

move from

one

country

to another

country

they need permission, but

song

Add an article

the song

a song

show examples

can anywhere easily without

barrier

Fix the agreement mistake

barriers

show examples

Music

is very important, and many types of

music

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

exit

Correct your spelling

exist

show examples

today

Change noun form

today's

show examples

world.

This

essay will explicate the importance of

music

and will give

example

Fix the agreement mistake

examples

show examples

;

also

will explain the importance of traditional

music

Firstly

Song

does motivate

people

too much.

This

means

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when

people

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

fail

any

Change preposition

at any

show examples

work after trying more than

one

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

loss

Replace the word

lose

show examples

hope.

Change preposition

show examples

this

time

some songs help

people

to courage to do work again.

For instance

, teenagers are listening now Unstoppable

song

Fix the agreement mistake

songs

show examples

to motivate them. Due

Correct pronoun usage

thisto

show examples

, songs are very important.

In addition

song

Add an article

the song

show examples

is the key

things

Fix the agreement mistake

thing

show examples

for passing leisure

time

This

is because

Change preposition

apply

show examples

, when

people

do travel

one

Change preposition

from one

show examples

place to another place, or

waiting

Add the preposition

forwaiting

show examples

any reason these

time

people

listen

Add the preposition

tolisten

show examples

music

Thus

music

is very important.

On the other hand

, traditional

music

does introduce

people

Change preposition

to his

show examples

his

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

own culture.

This

means, traditional

music

shows a clear image of a

country

Change noun form

country's

show examples

scanario

Correct your spelling

scenario

, and

people

can know

his

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

country

for

Change preposition

show examples

listening

traditional

Change preposition

to traditional

show examples

music

Such

as,

Baul

Change noun form

Baul's

show examples

song

does represent Bangladeshi tradition. For

this

reason, traditional

music

is very important. In conclusion,

music

helps to

passing

Change the verb form

pass

show examples

leisure

time

, and inspiration in his life.

Although

traditional

music

does represent

one

country

Change noun form

country's

show examples

culture.

Submitted by rownoak.rouf on Sun Oct 30 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

217 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional release
cultural significance
globalization
cultural exchange
technology
preservation
cultural heritage
social cohesion
expression
consumption
production
traditional music
international music
diversity
identity

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There are many different types music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Celebrities are usually famous for glamour and wealth rather than their achievements. Some say taking them as an example can be dangerous for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the government should strictly control the supply of fresh water, as it is a limited resource, while others say that it should not be regulated. Discuss both sides/views and give your opinion.

You are taking a course at a local college. The deadline for your project was last week but you haven't finished it. Write a letter to your lecturer. In your letter introduce yourself explain why you haven't handed in the project yet request more time to do it.