IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

it is important for children to learn the different between right and wrong at early ages. Punishment helps them to learn this distinctions. To extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sources of punishment should parents and teacher teach good behaviour to the children?

#children #right #ages #punishment #distinctions #sources #parents #teacher #behaviour
Child
 upbringing is carried out
several
Change preposition
in several
show examples
Correct your spelling
different
differnt
Correct your spelling
different
 ways and no
one
Correct your spelling
size
sieze
Correct your spelling
size
 fits all. While it is important to help
children
 learn what is right and wrong from
Correct your spelling
when they
whenthey
Correct your spelling
when they
 are little, there is a divergence of opinions as to how to go about
this
. Some people believe in punishing a
child
 who has done a bad thing to bring about correction and I completely agree with
this
 point of view,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 it is
also
 necessary that the punishment fit the crime and the end result is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 positive change in the
child
. Caregivers have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 great task to groom the little ones under their care so that they grow up to be responsible adults. It is good to correct a
child
 when he misbehaves as
children
 who suffer neglect from parents at home and school teachers in that aspect often grow up with
one
 social defect or the other. Good behaviour can be enforced by scolding, taking away a favourite toy or beating the little
one
 depending on the severity of the wrongdoing and the
child
 should
also
 be told why he is being punished.
Children
 do not necessarily have a sense of right and wrong, so it is normal for them to misbehave once in a while. It
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 becomes necessary for the parents or caregivers to provide guidance to the young
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 by punishing them so that they can associate the bad thing that they have done leading to something unpleasant happening to them.
For example
, a little boy who pushes a playmate down in the park can be made to sit down away from the play area. In time, he will desist from that act because he would not like to be kept away from his friends. To conclude, raising
children
 is very tedious work because guardians need to ensure they
they
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
become adults. Punishment is an effective way to discipline a
child
 and provide the guidance needed to help them discern the right things to keep doing and the things to stop doing. Scolding and depriving them of things they love when they misbehave can be used to provide correction, but it is important to make the
pinishment
Correct your spelling
punishment
 commensurate with the wrongdoing.
Submitted by oto.victoriauna on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: