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Band 4

Some people think that school and government should take responsibility to transport children to school. While some people think that parents should get children to school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #school #government #responsibility #transport #children #parents
Modern life is going fast and
people
 have
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 much
time
 to satisfy with
food
 and no
time
 to
wait
Add the preposition
forwait
show examples
 it. If you
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a job, you especially
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 no
time
 to eat, cause in many
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of jobs you have only one break hour per day. That’s why
people
 came up with a rational solution
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
called fast
food
. But not all
people
 resort to fast
food
 only because they
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 no
time
. So fast
food
 chains have proliferated and there were some problems with
this
. Let’s speak about
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 of them. Obesity. One of the most popular
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in America among the population. Specialists from the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that 42.4% of the adult population of the country
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 obese, with 9.2% having its extreme form. That’s because that kind of
food
 includes
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 of sugar and fat,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 makes it pretty high-calorie, which leads to obesity. For most
people
Add a comma
,people
show examples
 it’s a trap, because of fast carbohydrates the person feels full but for
but for
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
a while.
Well
Add the punctuation
,Well
show examples
 you are hungry now. What
you
Add an auxiliary verb
are you
show examples
 going to do? Right, buy more and harm your body. The
second
 problem that I want to discuss is crowding out of regular restaurants.
Its
Correct your spelling
It's
show examples
 more profitable to maintain fast
food
 restaurants than regular
because
Correct pronoun usage
ones because
show examples
 of
cheap
Correct article usage
the cheap
show examples
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 products,
time
 economy on cooking and many
others reason
Fix the agreement mistake
other reasons
show examples
. Based on research,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 very hard to compete with fast
food
chain
Fix the agreement mistake
chains
show examples
 if you opened
restaurant
Add an article
a restaurant
the restaurant
show examples
 in
Add an article
the neighborhood
show examples
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 where it is.
This
 is why small businesses are dying. In
summing
Replace the word
sum
show examples
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
I want to say that I
Correct your spelling
think
show examples
thing
Correct your spelling
think
show examples
 fast
food
 is not
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 case
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if you
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 it with
measure
Replace the word
measurements
show examples
.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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