In modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food or use animal products, for instance, clothing and medicines. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The bar chart compares
proportion
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the proportion
show examples
of Australian
children
from 5 to 16 years old attending four categories of
Correct your spelling
activities
activites
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activities
in 2012, they are watching TV, reading,
art
, and riding
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
bike. It is noticeable that watching television was the most fashionable recreation in four categories among different age groups
,
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apply
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while learning
art
was the most unpopular way to
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
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their spare time. Nearly 90% of 5 to
8 year-old
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8-year-old
show examples
children
in Australia enjoyed watching television, and
this
percentage gradually increased as they grow older. The figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
9
Correct article usage
the 9
show examples
-
11 year-old
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11-year-old
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group and
12
Correct article usage
the 12
show examples
-
16 year-old
Add a hyphen
16-year-old
show examples
group
Change the noun form
groups
show examples
were approximately 93% and 98% respectively.
By contrast
, the percentage of
children
in
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
category decreased as their age grows. There were 60% of
children
at 5-8 years old are interested in
art
, while the number dropped to 50% in the eldest group,
Correct your spelling
which
whichi
Correct your spelling
which
was only half of the figure of its counterpart in
watching
Correct article usage
the watching
show examples
tv category. Cycling was the
second
popular
Correct quantifier usage
most popular
show examples
activity among young Australians. The percentage of
children
who enjoyed
this
Correct your spelling
activity
activety
Correct your spelling
activity
varied from about 65% to slightly over 80% in
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
groups.
Also
, the popularity of reading was relatively similar among youngsters, which
figure
Correct article usage
the figure
show examples
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
show examples
at 65%- 70%.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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