In school or universities, girls prefer subjects related to art and boys prefer subjects related science. Should this tendency be changed? What is your opinion?

In the recent world, the difference between women and men in terms of roles in societies is becoming increasingly narrow.
However
, it is still believed that in the educational arena, young females favour arts
where
Correct word choice
whereas
show examples
males choose science. I believe
this
attitude should be changed in near
future
from two points of view; it is
molded
Change the spelling
moulded
show examples
by the traditional expectation of roles and responsibilities, and it will limit their career opportunities. The
first
reason I believe
this
phenomenon should be altered is that these school students' choices are somewhat impacted by the expectations from adults based on the long history of human beings.
For example
, girls are considered to stay home and do chores for their families, whereas boys are expected to go out and contribute to the outer world. Many young female students' preferences are influenced by
this
historical norm regardless of their awareness of it. Countries might be running a high risk of losing exceptionally intelligent women scientists in
this
way. As
such
,
this
should be corrected. The
second
point is that the
above discussed
Add a hyphen
above-discussed
show examples
young generation's choices are harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
them when they choose
future
careers. Due to the long-standing environmental prejudice, both genders are under the pressure of considering their careers in the limitation of what they are expected from the outside world. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern life, it is attested that women can take up almost all occupations that men can do.
However
,
still
Add an article
a still
the still
show examples
limited
Correct article usage
a limited
show examples
number of role models in the area of science whom young girls can follow.
This
situation needed to be changed soon. In conclusion, the traditional tendency of
gender
Add an article
the gender
show examples
split in terms of preference
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
school programs should be adjusted as it has a risk for society to lose superior female scientists and male
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
.
Also
, by keeping
this
biased view, the young generation is limiting their possibilities in their
future
careers. As
such
, I believe
this
should be shifted in near
future
.
Submitted by michima2011 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender stereotypes
  • educational choices
  • irrespective
  • gender barriers
  • diverse educational background
  • traditionally dominated fields
  • promoting gender equality
  • encouraging individual interests
  • breaking down barriers
  • altering perceptions
  • interdisciplinary approach
  • cultivating an inclusive environment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: