IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Governments should focus their spending on public services rather than on arts such as Music and Painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #focus #services #arts #music
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This
Linking Words
 is undeniable that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 spend a lot of their revenue to improve
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 and shape of
art
Use synonyms
 ,
for
Linking Words
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
show examples
 music and painting rather than improving
general
Add an article
the general
show examples
 condition of the country. From my perspective,
Correct your spelling
policymakers
show examples
policy makers
Correct your spelling
policymakers
show examples
 should build up their priorities according to
Use synonyms
nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's
show examples
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
 and
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
 development of the country. They should give more emphasis on public service.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nations, one can find ,
Correct your spelling
government
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 has invested
majority
Add an article
the majority
show examples
 of
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 budget in
art
Use synonyms
 and craft.
for instance
Linking Words
, valuable
painting
Fix the agreement mistake
paintings
show examples
 in streets and
museusms
Correct your spelling
museums
, sculptures and expensive architects.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, these
countries
Use synonyms
 are witnessing
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 overwhelming burden on
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 care
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
, poor road
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
,
devastating
Correct word choice
and devastating
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 education
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
. Leaders should regulate their budget
accordingly
Linking Words
 and improve
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 and education system.
However
Linking Words
, there are few developed
countries
Use synonyms
 which strengthen their
services
Use synonyms
 for
Correct your spelling
general
Correct article usage
the geneeral
show examples
geneeral
Correct your spelling
general
 public, like
germany
Change the capitalization
Germany
show examples
 and UK.
Although
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
 and craft
is
Change the verb form
are
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important, because
these
Change the determiner
this potray heritage
show examples
potray
Correct your spelling
portray
 heritage of the
nation
Use synonyms
 and express traditions and cultures,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
public
services
Use synonyms
 are more important than
art
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, a
nation
Use synonyms
 can survive without
art
Use synonyms
, while
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
 community
Correct your spelling
services
service
srvices
Correct your spelling
services
, it is quite impossible.
Therefore
Linking Words
, Government should build public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
, improve road
Correct your spelling
conditions
condition
condtion
Correct your spelling
conditions
, provide quality education, and spend money on community health. There are counties which
enriched
Add a missing verb
are enriched
show examples
 with culture and tradition but unable to improve their community ,
for
Linking Words
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
show examples
 Egypt,
Brazil
Correct word choice
and Brazil
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.
Correct your spelling
Additionally
Additional
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, improvements
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 general
services
Use synonyms
 will improve overall society holistically, and
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
civilized society can grow
prosporously
Correct your spelling
prosperously
prosperous
. To conclude, in my opinion,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should focus on
wholesome
Add an article
the wholesome
show examples
 development of a
nation
Use synonyms
 by giving importance
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 both, but they have to prioritize their need.
In other words
Linking Words
, whereas, developed
countries
Use synonyms
 can give emphasis on their
art
Use synonyms
 and culture, developing and underdeveloped
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 should mainly focus on their public
services
Use synonyms
.
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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