IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people say that the way we communicate has improved because of advances in technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#people #advances #technology
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Nowadays, as the
world
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world's
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 prosperity grows, technological
devices
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 play an important role in our
life
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. We all inevitably have to use mobile phones, tablets and computers for our profession.
Moreover
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, these
devices
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 connect
people
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 from all walks of
life
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 and
thus
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 it is generally held that the development of technology enhances the ability to communicate in today’s
life
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.
This
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 essay partially agrees with the aforementioned statement and provides a set of reasons to support
this
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 point of view before the conclusion is reached. It is undeniable that IT
devices
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 enrich
people
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 to converse conveniently and effectively.
People
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 are spending a lot of time using these technologies
especially
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,especially
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 for their vocational purposes.
Firstly
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, it is easy to communicate
to
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with
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 other
people
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 from every corner of the world via social media platforms.
Secondly
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, there are several things on the internet that encourage individuals to practice languages
such
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 as games, movies or online courses.
Last
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 but not least, for
traveling
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travelling
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 purposes, these
devices
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 help
people
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 to convey messages to foreign residents effortlessly.
However
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, it is without a doubt that these
devices
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 unavoidably come with various negative consequences.
People
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 can easily be addicted
with
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to
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 these technologies and occur many problems. To be more explicit, many have less association with other
people
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 in their
life
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. They are focusing on the phone
instead
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 of paying attention to their friends or family.
Furthermore
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, there is no awareness of body
languages
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language
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 when using these
devices
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 to communicate.
This
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 is due to the fact that they are used to
talk
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talking
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 via phones and had no physical interaction with others. To summarize, technologies encourage
people
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 to gain more linguistic proficiency and communicate conveniently.
On the other hand
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, many negative aspects existed.
Therefore
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,
this
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 essay partially agrees that IT
devices
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 improve the method we communicate in our
life
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. Different
people
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 have different reasons which are all valid in their own judgement. No matter what the reasons are, it is indispensable to acquire communication
skill
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skills
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 which is a valuable
asset
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assets
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 for
people
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.
Submitted by Jaranrat170 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • revolutionized
  • efficient
  • accessible
  • inclusive
  • video conferencing
  • geographical barriers
  • reliance
  • reduction
  • personal interactions
  • immediacy
  • misinformation
  • misinterpretation
  • body language
  • tone of voice
  • global collaborations
  • fostered
  • readily available
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