Government should focus their spending on public service rather than on arts such as music and painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #focus #service #arts #music

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Authorities should spend their money on social welfare rather than on artwork. I agree with the

first

Linking Words

view but the arts are

also

Linking Words

crucial for the development of human beings. The

first

Linking Words

reason to use the money for public service is that some sectors are more important than others.

For instance

Linking Words

; the health sector needs more investment to provide better service to the public.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the residential parks

also

Linking Words

need to be equipped properly, so the residents can use those facilities and they will stay fit and healthy. As a consequence, society will stay away from diseases and their standard of living will automatically uplift which would contribute to the growth of the economy.

However

Linking Words

, the activities related to the arts are

similarly

Linking Words

significant in the progress of mental health.

Additionally

Linking Words

, music and painting have beneficial to show hidden talent because some are good at crafts. And the most important thing is that nowadays there are a lot of careers available in these fields.

As a result

Linking Words

, they would have better opportunities who are not excellent in their study. In conclusion, community services are equally essential as the fine arts, so government should encourage both of them.

Submitted by gagandeep02071996 on Mon Oct 31 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

197 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
People talk about their money (how much they earn/how much they spend) in their daily lives. Why is this? Is it a positive or negative development?
There is no doubt that in the more sophisticated world which we live today wealth plays a vital role in many individuals life . That more and more people tend to talk about their salaries, wages and how much money they earn and spend much fortune for various sorts of goods in their daily basis . In the following paragraphs , the drowback of this issue has been discussed and final opinion is reached at the end
7
band
University students often focus on one subjects . However , some people think that universities should encourage students to learn a range of other subjects . To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
In this era, the curriculum system was reshaped. However, this system is variated from one country to another and from one university to another. Nowadays, pupils are concentrating on one topic, while some individuals assume that universities should encourage students to learn a range of other topics. I have a balanced opinion. In this essay, I will elaborate on both views.
7.5
band
Banking and payment methods. The role of banks in the modern world. Large banks and their work. Working with clients.
Banking and funding are very important for the functioning of the modern world. Without banks, the way we benefit capital would not work. Banks enable people to save money, borrow money and pay for things with ease and security.
5
band
There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Students nowadays are under a lot of pressure to achieve academical success in order to get into a good university or secure a well paid job. For this reason some people argue that schools need to focus on academic subjects and vocational subjects should therefore not taught at schools. I would argue that while academic skills are important, schools need to teach a wide range of both academic and more skills-based subjects.
4.5
band
Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organizations. Why might this be the case ? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed ?
In recent times, workers prefer to be self employed instead of work for a company or organisation. This essay will discuss cause of people’s prefers and then what would be disadvantages of being self-employed.

Government should focus their spending on public service rather than on arts such as music and painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

People talk about their money (how much they earn/how much they spend) in their daily lives. Why is this? Is it a positive or negative development?

University students often focus on one subjects . However , some people think that universities should encourage students to learn a range of other subjects . To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Banking and payment methods. The role of banks in the modern world. Large banks and their work. Working with clients.

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organizations. Why might this be the case ? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed ?