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Band 4

Some people think that good health is a basic human need and the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do disadvantages outweigh advantages? Give your opinion.

#people #health #service #companies
It is true that nowadays there is an increasing
number
 of privately-operated
healthcare
services
besides
 public agencies.
While
 there exist several drawbacks to the
services
 of these
private-owned
Correct your spelling
privately owned
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 firms, I believe they are eclipsed by the substantial benefits. On the one hand, it is understandable why
people
 disapprove of medical treatment provided by profit-makers. The key rationale is attributed to the expensive equipment used in these
hospitals
 or clinics
along with
 the exorbitant prices that patients have to cover.
Additionally
,
due to
 the major aim of maximizing profits, these firms may raise the costs of their
services
such
 as prescription fees or surgery prices.
This
 may act as a contributor to the inaccessibility
to
Change preposition
of
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 medical care
of
Change preposition
for
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people
 who live under the poverty line, which prevents them from receiving the most effective cure.
For example
, the USA is a typical example of an excessively unfair and inaccessible
healthcare
due to
 the privatization of
such
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
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. Meanwhile, the UK offers a National Health Service that delivers universal
healthcare
.
On the other hand
, notwithstanding the aforementioned disadvantages, I would argue that private
healthcare
 is still an optimal choice for
people
. The foremost reason is
a
Correct article usage
the
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 large
number
 of experienced practitioners working in these companies. In order to gain profits, these
hospitals
also
 need to boost their service quality to attract more customers. They spend a flood of funding on taking on veteran doctors and surgeons aiming to
prove
Verb problem
provide
show examples
 patients with excellent
services
.
Furthermore
, the cleanliness of medical
services
 and the generous capacity of these companies are the reasons why they are quite popular among
people
 despite the high costs. Hong Ngoc
hospital
Capitalize word
Hospital
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 in Hanoi perfectly exemplifies
this
 choice of patients. Compared to some public
hospitals
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overloading and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor sanitation,
this
 hospital offers a wide range of sickrooms which are sterilized daily and a
number
 of considerate
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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, which is equivalent to the costs. In conclusion,
while
 the demerits attached to private medical
services
 are definite, I believe with the
number
 of seasoned doctors and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adequate cleanliness, these
hospitals
 still have more merits than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
negative ones.
Submitted by jannatulferdous2011 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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