Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree ?

A lot of rich

people

nowadays try to help poor

people

This

paper will investigate the advantages of being rich. Eventually, I will highlight the most important factor about being rich and draw my own conclusion. In terms of some views, the most valuable thing that rich

people

can do is to help other

people

. The main reason provided to support

this

claim is that, if rich

people

help poor

people

, the percentage of poverty in the world will decrease. To illustrate, there are a lot of humanitarian institutions in the world that rely on the financial

aids

Fix the agreement mistake

aid

show examples

received from the rich companies and

people

, and if these stakeholders don’t provide the needed amount of money,

then

there will not be enough resources to help the

people

in dire need.

Also

, when rich

people

provide aid,

then

this

helps in promoting stability and peace in the world.

Moreover

, having a lot of money can guarantee other important things to

people

Firstly

, being rich means there is enough money to guarantee a better quality of life.

For example

, rich parents can

enroll

Change the spelling

enrol

show examples

their children in the best schools and provide

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

the

Change preposition

with the

show examples

best

health care

Correct your spelling

healthcare

show examples

system.

Also

people

who are rich; live a luxurious life, and can spoil themselves by purchasing new cars and fancy houses. In conclusion, though there are various things that can make rich

people

happy, I believe that the most important thing is helping poor

people

, because through helping other

people

; many social problems will be eliminated, and a better quality of life will be provided to everyone.

Submitted by فارس 198 on Tue Nov 01 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

wealthy
financial resources
philanthropy
charitable organizations
donations
fundraising
support
initiatives
contribute
fulfillment
purpose
selfless
altruistic
prioritize
personal gain

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Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree ?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In some countries, students pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do the advantages of governments paying for fees outweigh the disadvantages?

People’s lives are now surrounded by advertisements. This affects what people consider important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?