Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree ?

#people #person #opportunity

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A lot of rich

people

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nowadays try to help poor

people

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This

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paper will investigate the advantages of being rich. Eventually, I will highlight the most important factor about being rich and draw my own conclusion. In terms of some views, the most valuable thing that rich

people

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can do is to help other

people

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. The main reason provided to support

this

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claim is that, if rich

people

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help poor

people

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, the percentage of poverty in the world will decrease. To illustrate, there are a lot of humanitarian institutions in the world that rely on the financial

aids

Fix the agreement mistake

aid

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received from the rich companies and

people

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, and if these stakeholders don’t provide the needed amount of money,

then

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there will not be enough resources to help the

people

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in dire need.

Also

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, when rich

people

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provide aid,

then

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this

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helps in promoting stability and peace in the world.

Moreover

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, having a lot of money can guarantee other important things to

people

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Firstly

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, being rich means there is enough money to guarantee a better quality of life.

For example

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, rich parents can

enroll

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enrol

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their children in the best schools and provide

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apply

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them

the

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with the

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best

health care

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healthcare

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system.

Also

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people

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who are rich; live a luxurious life, and can spoil themselves by purchasing new cars and fancy houses. In conclusion, though there are various things that can make rich

people

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happy, I believe that the most important thing is helping poor

people

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, because through helping other

people

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; many social problems will be eliminated, and a better quality of life will be provided to everyone.

Submitted by فارس 198 on Tue Nov 01 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

wealthy
financial resources
philanthropy
charitable organizations
donations
fundraising
support
initiatives
contribute
fulfillment
purpose
selfless
altruistic
prioritize
personal gain

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Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree ?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

The government needs to spend money to encourage the development of sports and arts for school students, rather than to support professional sports and art events. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advanatges?

As a results of tourism and the increasing number of people travelling, there is an growing demand for more flights. what problems does this have on the environment? what measures could be taken to solve the problem?

In a public-funded healthcare system, people who are willing to pay for the best and fast treatment should be able to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?