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Writing Samples
Band 4

:In some countries, fast food restaurants and companies give money to schools provided that the schools promote their products to school children. What do you think is the positive and negative of this in the development of children?

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Nowadays, companies try to earn money by using different ways of advertisement. One of them is promoting their
products
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 at schools. I will try to present the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 action.
Firstly
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, I want to show the positive aspect of product promotion among students. A university can use the money it received to improve conditions in the institution by purchasing modern devices or helping
children
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 in their education by organising workshops or sponsoring books. That action would definitely help the
school
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 to raise educated
children
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 and make their efforts more pleasant.
On the other hand
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,
children
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 are not responsible for themselves and they have to rely on their
parents
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. They do not know what is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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best for them.
Products
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 or food promoted in the
school
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 might not be good for
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
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 health, because of some food allergies or poor ingredients,
therefore
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, they can suffer from some digestive illnesses.
Moreover
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,
parents
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 might not want to purchase
a
Change the article
the
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 desired item in order to protect their
children
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, which can lead to arguments. On top of that,
parents
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 might not be able to afford
products
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, which are advertised in the
school
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 and it is difficult to
explain
Add the preposition
toexplain
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 their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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 why
,
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apply
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 they cannot have
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. They might not understand their
parents
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' decision and they can feel worse seeing their friends with the
products
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 they wanted as well. To conclude, there are positive and negative aspects of promoting
products
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 in schools.
Parents
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 should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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vary and control what their
children
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 eat and use.
School
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 organs,
on the other hand
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, should spend the funds they received in a responsible way to help their student develop.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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