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Writing Samples
Band 4

Number of visitors to ashdown museum during the year before and after it was refurbished.

#visitors #ashdown #museum #year
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The charts show information about the satisfaction of visitors who visited the
museum
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 before and after the
refurbishment
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 and the table shows the number of
people
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 visiting the
museum
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 in two periods. Overall, what stands out from the table is that more
people
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 visited the
museum
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 after
refurbishment
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.
On the other hand
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, about one-
third
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 of the
people
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 who visited the
museum
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 after
refurbishment
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 are very satisfied or satisfied. Looking at the details, before
refurbishment
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 74000
people
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 visited the
museum
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 but after
refurbishment
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,
this
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 number increased to 92000.
In addition
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 to that, before
refurbishment
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 around 15% of
people
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 were very satisfied and 30%
people
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 were satisfied but after
refurbishment
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, these percentages increased to 35% and 40% respectively.
Furthermore
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, around 40% of visitors were dissatisfied and 10% of
people
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 were very dissatisfied before
refurbishment
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 but after
refurbishment
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, the dissatisfied
people
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 percentage decreased by 25% and only 15% of
people
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 were dissatisfied and very dissatisfied visitors were only 5%.
In contrast
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 to that, there was no change in the percentage of
people
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 who showed no response in
this
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 survey and that percentage was 5%.
Submitted by sohailbhai4u on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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