IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Number of visitors to ashdown museum during the year before and after it was refurbished.

#visitors #ashdown #museum #year
The charts show information about the satisfaction of visitors who visited the
museum
 before and after the
refurbishment
 and the table shows the number of
people
 visiting the
museum
 in two periods. Overall, what stands out from the table is that more
people
 visited the
museum
 after
refurbishment
.
On the other hand
, about one-
third
 of the
people
 who visited the
museum
 after
refurbishment
 are very satisfied or satisfied. Looking at the details, before
refurbishment
 74000
people
 visited the
museum
 but after
refurbishment
,
this
 number increased to 92000.
In addition
 to that, before
refurbishment
 around 15% of
people
 were very satisfied and 30%
people
 were satisfied but after
refurbishment
, these percentages increased to 35% and 40% respectively.
Furthermore
, around 40% of visitors were dissatisfied and 10% of
people
 were very dissatisfied before
refurbishment
 but after
refurbishment
, the dissatisfied
people
 percentage decreased by 25% and only 15% of
people
 were dissatisfied and very dissatisfied visitors were only 5%.
In contrast
 to that, there was no change in the percentage of
people
 who showed no response in
this
 survey and that percentage was 5%.
Submitted by sohailbhai4u on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: