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Band 4

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?

#rubbish #governments #amount
In
centery
Correct your spelling
century
 21
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
the
world
starting
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 the
manufactring
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manufacturing
 and production and nobody
care
Wrong verb form
cared
show examples
 about the
rubbish
 from
this
proccess
Correct your spelling
process
. The
rubbish
 can come
also
 from the
carness
Correct your spelling
cares
 of the recycling
procces
Correct your spelling
process
, and
this
cost
Wrong verb form
costs
show examples
 the
world
 more than
recycling
Correct article usage
the recycling
show examples
proccess
Correct your spelling
process
. Nowadays, everybody
responsible
Add a missing verb
is responsible
show examples
to save
Change preposition
for saving
show examples
 our
world
 as much as he can, and without
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cooperation the
world
 will become
more worst
Correct word choice
worse
show examples
. When I was in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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school, there was a day per month we had to clean one public area, and
this
 event was
sponsered
Correct your spelling
sponsored
 by the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
government
.
In addition
, the
rubbish
 now reaches
also
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the oceans and seas even if there is no
humen
Correct your spelling
human
 there, and
this
 only happens
becuse
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because
 the
rubbish
 is more in the
costal
Correct your spelling
coastal
show examples
 areas. All the
profissional
Correct your spelling
professionals
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sea life raised the red flags for
this
 issue, and how will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. The
government
 must have more than
solution
Correct article usage
a solution
show examples
 to decrease the
rubbish
 and save the earth. The first solution from my vision has to be the awareness lectures in the offices and schools to explain the amount of danger
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
rubbish
 and how it will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 his life before anything else.
Secondly
, the
government
 can invest more money in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recycling,
for
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 they can make a yearly competition between the companies for the best company in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recycling.
Also
government
 can provide
sperate
Correct your spelling
separate
show examples
 garbage for recycling and
non recycling
Add a hyphen
non-recycling
show examples
 items.
Finally
, saving the earth from the
rubbish
 is sharing responsibility between the
government
, company and people, and we have to cooperate with each other.
Submitted by ieltsfay on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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