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Writing Samples
Band 7

The tables give information sales of fairtrade labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables give information sales of fairtrade labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given table represents
sales
Use synonyms
 of Fairtrade-labelled
coffee
Use synonyms
 and bananas in five different
countries
Use synonyms
 that are mentioned in the data in 1999 and 2004. Generally, there is a different trend for both commodities at the same time,
whereas
Linking Words
coffee
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 retails rose in those five
countries
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 with the highest retail
marked
Correct your spelling
market
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 was Switzerland. Meanwhile, the retail of bananas rose only in several
countries
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,
such
Linking Words
 as the
UK
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, Switzerland, and Denmark, in which the
UK
Use synonyms
 has the highest rank. Looking into details,
coffee
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sales
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 in the
UK
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 rose dramatically from 1.5
million
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euros
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 to 20
million
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euros
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.
However
Linking Words
, in Switzerland, the
sales
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 of
coffee
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 were described as doubled in 2004 to 6
million
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euros
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.
Besides
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, the
sales
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 of the rest of the
countries
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 mentioned in the tables which were at 1.8, 0.8 and 1
million
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euros
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 in 1999 reported a modest increase to 2.1, and 1.7
million
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euros
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 in 2004,
subsequently
Linking Words
. Moving into another detail, banana retail in the
UK
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 significantly increased to 47
million
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euros
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 in 2004 which was three times more than in 1999 and the highest retail among others.
However
Linking Words
, banana retailing in Belgium and Sweden observed a decrease from 1.8 and 2
million
Use synonyms
 in 1999 to 1 and 0.9
million
Use synonyms
Euros
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 in 2004,
subsequently
Linking Words
.
Submitted by rhisaaidilla on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, subsequently".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, coffee, countries, uk, million, euros with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fairtrade labelled
  • significant increase/decrease
  • consumer awareness
  • sustainable growth
  • ethical consumerism
  • market trends
  • dominant market
  • comparative analysis
  • socio-economic impact
  • market penetration
  • exponential growth
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