IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that employers should not be concerned about the way their employees dress, but they should be concerned about the quality at work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #employers #employees #dress #quality #work
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Many people nowadays prefer to wear casual clothes to the workplace, but some companies set up rules against
this
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. They were required to
dress
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 formally or even in uniforms. Some believe that employers should focus on their
work
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 performance only
instead
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 of their
dress
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. Personally, I would argue that the employees’ productivity is of number one importance. Good dressing indeed has some advantages.
For example
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, it can give other people good impressions.
This
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 is particularly important in some areas of
work
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 like servicing industry, where high customer satisfaction has a direct impact on a
company
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's reputation and income. If a salesperson fails to
dress
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 properly at
work
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, he might encounter difficulties in successfully selling his product, which resulted in the loss of the whole
company
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.
However
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, the quality of
work
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 of the employees affects the business aspect of the
company
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 directly. The success of a
company
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 largely relies on the contribution of its staff. If they often
work
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 poorly, or at a degraded efficiency, it may lead to a decline in the
company
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’s revenue, which could
further
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 hamper the development of the
company
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.
This
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 is not a good sign that employers wish to see, and it is not the kind of issue that can be solved by solely having a proper suit.
Moreover
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, if an employee makes an outstanding contribution and is awarded by his boss,
this
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 will boost the morale of the whole
company
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, and trigger the motivation of other people. In summary, I think that having a suitable
dress
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 at
work
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 is not as important as the quality of the performance. High productivity of staff benefits directly the whole
company
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 and contributes to the morale of the others.
Therefore
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, quality
work
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 should be the goal of all businesses.
Submitted by wright2000915 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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