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Band 5

In most countries, prison is an effective solution to the problem of crime. Some people think it is a more effective solution to provide education for those who violate the law. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #prison #crime #people #education #law
In
last
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the last
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 decades there have been many
solution
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solutions
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 to prevent any crime, one of the most
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efficient
effcient
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efficient
way
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ways
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 of those ways is taking criminals"s
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freedom
from
fredom
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freedom
 by putting them in
jails
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jail
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. Which means, stopping their
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lives
lifes
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lives
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 from
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achieving
acheving
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achieving
 any something meaningful.
As a result
 of that, criminal ideas will be growing more than usual inside them. In order to prevent these, many roles are established by
government
Add an article
the government
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 to exploit the time
that is
 being consumed. Having said that, I totally agree with
this
 new policy.
firstly
,making new
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opportunities
oppertunities
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opportunities
 when the people who
is
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are
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 imprisoned to find better life
instead
 of criminal life,
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they
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the
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they
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 will change their way to think.
Moreover
, having
clear
Add an article
a clear
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 vision
to
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of
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 what they will be doing after prison.
secondly
, it will be
great
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a great
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 chance to improve their technical skills
such
 as plumping ,
carpenter
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carpentry
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, as well as ,
weldding
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welding
wedding
.the skills that
featured
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are featured
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 by
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physical
phisycal
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physical
 effort,
In addition
,
letting
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to letting
show examples
 them out to work, and
afoard
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afford
aboard
 their families, even though it is risky .
However
, it can be
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beneficial
benefcial
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beneficial
 to them, in order to melt with the
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society
city
socity
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society
 as fast as possible.
consequantly
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consequently
, they will understand what they have done wrongly, and
diffenetly
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differently
, change their mind when they see society from another
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perspective
precepective
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perspective
 to sum
up
Add a comma
,up
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with
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apply
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what is
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written
wrriten
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written
by
Change preposition
to
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 me,the government should provide
educational
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an educational
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plan
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plans
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 to people in the prison to
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eliminate
eleminate
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eliminate
 any future crime by the same individuals
..
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.
...
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Also
, technical education should be taken into their consideration .
Lastly
, Imprisoned people have to expose gradually to
community
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the community
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, in order to ensure that the gap is filled between each
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
.
Submitted by Md.aalharbi1 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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