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Band 6

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities
There has been a contentious topic about the fact that
businesses
, apart from making a good
profit
,
also
 have to be responsible for the well-being of society. In my opinion, I strongly agree with
this
 statement due to the fact that the lack of responsibility of firms and cooperations can have a
Correct your spelling
detrimental
detremental
Correct your spelling
detrimental
 effect on the
environment
 as well as the salary of their
workers
.
First
 and foremost, the outcome of
businesses
 only focusing on maximizing their
profit
 can have a negative effect on the
environment
. Researchers from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Havard University have found out that the waste created by factories, is one ò the main reasons for the alarming
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 situation that the world
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 facing right now.
Therefore
, it is pivotal that
businesses
, contribute their effort to protect the
environment
.
This
 can be done by reducing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
industrial waste as well as producing products that, are friendly to the
environment
,
Second
 of all, in the process of
maximize
Wrong verb form
maximising
show examples
 their
profit
, firms will try to cut down on their expenses, leading to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 decrease in the income of
workers
. A prime example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 matter is the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 a lot of international cooperations
choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 China as their manufacturer thanks to the cheap labour cost.
Hence
,
workers
 are paid a minimum wage, which is just barely enough to pay for their cost of living.
Therefore
,
businesses
 should
also
 consider not just the
profit
 but
also
 the status of their
workers
. In conclusion, as well as making money,
businesses
also
 should take responsibility
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 ensuring the well-being of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
This
 can be done by protecting the
environment
, as well as higher wages for their
workers
.
Submitted by anhdung3092001 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
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