IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

At some locations an increase in the production of consumer good results in damage of our natural environment. What are the causes and solution ?

#locations #production #consumer #results #damage #environment
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It is an undeniable fact that "
environment
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 plays a crucial role in an individual's life ."
However
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 ,
due to
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 the
increase
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 in demand of
customers
Add a comma
customers,
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 the manufacturing of customer goods had
rose
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risen
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 which
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
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 a detrimental effect on the natural
environment
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.
This
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 essay intends to enumerate the reasons for
this
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 phenomenon and will
also
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 enunciate its underlying solutions. To commence with , there are multifarious reasons for the
increase
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 in
this
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 trend . The most prominent one is the
increase
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 in the population. To explicate, in
this
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 contemporary era , the demand for various items has increased
due to
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 the rise of the population which ultimately impacts natural resources.
For instance
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 , the
increase
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 in the production of paper has skyrocketed to meet the demand of inhabitants
due to
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 which various trees are cut down .
Consequently
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, it leads to deforestation which causes various health ailments and environmental problems as well . On the paradoxical side, despite the given ,causes there are various methods that can be opted to reduce the effect. The most pertinent one is reforestation. To elaborate , the government must organise campings to spread awareness among individuals regarding the importance of trees . Resultantly , it leads to sustainable development without harming the
environment
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.
Last
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 but not
the
Correct article usage
apply
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least , is that companies must manufacture energy-efficient vehicles . To be more specific, large firms must manufacture automobiles running on electricity to reduce the consumption of petrol and diesel . Ergo , it helps in saving fossil fuels for upcoming generations . To recapitulate, after sifting through both views it can be stated that there are a plethora of causes by which the surroundings are harmed by folks .
However
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 , if people choose proper measures with authorities to save the
environment
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 the issues can be resolved considerably.
Submitted by jashanjotaulakh49 on

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coherence and cohesion
In the introduction, clearly state the causes and solutions that will be discussed in the essay. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Conclude by summarizing the main points and linking back to the thesis statement.
task response
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on how each cause contributes to environmental damage. Offer more detailed solutions with practical implementation strategies.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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