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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

many manufactured food and drink products ontain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people o consume less sugar. Do you agree or desagree?

#food #drink #products #ontain #levels #sugar #health #people #desagree
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Many industrialized
products
 are known to have a high content of
sugar
, leading to different
health
 disorders. Some believe that if the price of these
products
 increases, it would encourage individuals to consume less
sugar
. In my opinion, making food with high
sugar
 content more expensive would not be enough to decrease consumption. Other measures like providing more information on the effects on our
health
 should
also
 be done to achieve
such
 behavioural changes. Increasing the price of
products
 with high levels of
sugar
 could be a starting point for a more elaborate prevention plan towards a healthier society, albeit not powerful enough by itself. Sugary foods are very addictive, and many consumers eat these for desire or preference, not because these are cheaper
products
. Sometimes, even due to a lack of information about possible consequences to a person’s
health
.
Therefore
, increasing the price alone most likely would not change much. People would probably continue to consume these
products
.
On the other hand
, if
this
 measure were to be set in place with other initiatives
such
 as educational ads in supermarkets and in schools, results could be more appealing. Having a
health
 advocator in supermarkets providing courses or quick lectures about which
products
 could be better for our
health
 could help those that consume
sugar
-rich foods out of adequate knowledge of its
health
 consequences. Doing the same at schools could empower children and they could easily bring that knowledge home.
Consequently
, when prices go up, it would have more impacting results. In summary, high levels of
sugar
 are found in many industrialized goods and can generate many undesirable
health
 consequences. Increasing the prices to control consumption would probably not be very effective by itself.
However
, if education about general
health
 impact were associated, better results are expected.
Submitted by renatabm on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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