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Band 4

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara desert or the Antarctic

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antarctic
There is no doubt that there are a plethora of places around the globe that have extreme conditions
Such
 as
Sahara
Correct article usage
the Sahara
show examples
 desert and Antarctica.
In here
Change preposition
Here
show examples
 I am going to mention some of
possible
Correct article usage
the possible
show examples
 pros and cons of visiting
such
 these places by tourists. It Is clear that going to these tough climate
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 areas gives an overall view
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our planet and how it has many difficult aspects when it comes to environmental diversity.
Huge
Change the article
A huge
The huge
show examples
 number of population around the world have no clue about the danger that
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 other
people
 in different countries because ,simply, they Live in
a stable conditions
Correct the article-noun agreement
a stable condition
stable conditions
show examples
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example, many Regions in Africa or arid and suffer from drought on a daily basis. Another advantage
For
Change preposition
Of
show examples
 exploring different atmospheres could be the help that visitors can provide whether by donation or even by
make
Change the form of the verb
making
show examples
 the problem more considerable by informing human rights organizations or those who care for
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. Where there is light there is
also
 shadow, expenditure that
people
 spend on
such
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 might be a waste of money.
This
 is because
theses
Correct your spelling
these
show examples
 types of trips usually have no entertainment activities.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
people
 may have acute health issues.
This
 could be because of extreme hot or cold or simply due to
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 difference between the place where they visit and their home. To reduce the possible later risks regions with abnormal
climate
Fix the agreement mistake
climates
show examples
 should be visited by experts and scientists only to study and analyze data. In conclusion, hard conditions countries should have our attention to study ,
identify
Correct word choice
and identify
show examples
 their issues and possible solutions
however
 ordinary
people
 should
kept
Change the verb form
keep
show examples
 away from exploring these places for their own safety. They can donate to help
ameliorating
Wrong verb form
ameliorate
show examples
 the degree of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
danger that
people
 living in these countries face.
Submitted by asmaacanon on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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