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Band 4

Some say job security is more important than job satisfaction. What is your opinion?

#say #job #security #satisfaction
Job
 security is the most significant thing when we talk about employment in my opinion. There are plenty of facts that confirm and confront
this
. It is totally up to
situation
Correct article usage
the situation
show examples
 which every person
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
 has.
Firstly
, you should choose the character of your future
job
. Does it give your extra resources
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 money, free
time
, insurance etc
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 The ability
of
Replace the preposition
to
show examples
 analyze is the powerful equipment that you have to use to look forward.
Furthermore
, everyone has a family. Your relatives help you to get higher on the way. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
barriers
Add an article
the barriers
show examples
 are
pasted
Correct your spelling
passed
show examples
 with their role
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 your life.
This
 is the key to
clarify
Wrong verb form
clarifying
show examples
 the company
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
witch
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 you are up to.
Few
Correct article usage
A few
show examples
 simple questions should be named like
place
Add an article
a place
the place
show examples
 where you are,
service
Correct article usage
the service
show examples
 of government social structures.
On the other hand
, earning money isn’t the aim of life. The plot of
time
 is needed to erect by yourself. The
job
 is just one of
places
Add an article
the places
show examples
 in front of
face
Add an article
the face
show examples
. You shell to choose the side of turning.
In addition
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happiness is
essential
Add an article
the essential
an essential
show examples
 filling of progress
during
Change preposition
over
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
. If
this
 isn’t right for you, it is the wrong way and you should turn around.
Consequently
, can you think about living
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
without
this
 company? Maybe
this
 is a period when everything is hanging around you. It is the
time
 to want, don’t you think so? The fact that the
job
 is not
so
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 good enough as we want
don’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn’t
show examples
 make it less needed for economical structure.
Otherwise
, many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people don’t have any chances to help their relatives with something else.
That is
 the Choice which
stand
Change the verb form
stands
show examples
 in front of everyone.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job security
  • job satisfaction
  • financial stability
  • consistent income
  • basic needs
  • future plans
  • personal fulfillment
  • life quality
  • psychological impacts
  • stress
  • burnout
  • lack of motivation
  • job market
  • adaptability
  • continuous learning
  • gig economy
  • trade-off
  • safety net
  • mental well-being
  • priorities
  • life stages
  • young professionals
  • career success
  • nearing retirement
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