IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people like to own place where they live, bot other people like to rent where they live. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #place #bot #rent
Part of
the
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
people
 think they have to buy an
Correct your spelling
accommodation
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 for themselves,
Correct your spelling
though
thought
thoght
Correct your spelling
though
, some of them deny
and
Correct pronoun usage
it and
show examples
 believed that they should rent it, in my view,
Correct your spelling
due
show examples
duo
Correct your spelling
due
show examples
 to fragile economical issues in countries, that's better to buy a home and be
owner
Add an article
the owner
an owner
show examples
 and don't pay rent to others and real estates monthly and annually etc. Living in a
place
that is
 yours, feeling you
saftey
Correct your spelling
safety
, calm and there is no any
concerend
Correct your spelling
concerned
, because of it I believed that it can be a good incentive for
Add an article
an individual
the individual
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 to buy properties. Experiments in recent decades
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 that
people
 who are the owner are more happy, on one hand in some countries it's not hard to buy a
place
 ,
although
,
on
Change preposition
despite
show examples
 the
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
others
Add a comma
,others
show examples
 domestic structure in government don't let
people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
own a
place
 easily. High quality of living
is merely depends
Change the verb form
merely depends
show examples
 on every
Correct your spelling
single
signle
Correct your spelling
single
 person, some
people
 believed that it's better to pay for their comfort, buy whatever
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 like and want and the main thing is paying for
leasure
Correct your spelling
leisure
pleasure
Correct your spelling
activities
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 they like. An extensive experiment shows that
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of
people
 has more easy-going personality and they care about their
goof
Correct your spelling
good
show examples
 feeling than pay attention to their
lives
Change the noun form
life
show examples
 concerns.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 if a person
pay
Change the verb form
pays
show examples
 a lot to buy a property and pay the bills and loans,
Correct your spelling
prefer
perfer
Correct your spelling
prefer
 to
Correct your spelling
spend
show examples
pend
Correct your spelling
spend
show examples
 that money to improve the quality of living or
investing
Wrong verb form
invest
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their jobs or
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
stocks. In my opinion,
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 a home to live
is
Change preposition
in is
show examples
 better, because you are sure if you lost the job you
doesn't
Correct subject-verb agreement
don't
show examples
 need to pay for rent and there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 no concerns. In conclusion, many
people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 different personality and
Correct article usage
a verity
show examples
verity
Correct your spelling
variety
show examples
 of reasons to buy or not buy a
place
 all of them decide in their own circumstances.
Submitted by Sobhan Izadi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: