IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #work #organization #life #organizations
Some people say that working for one company all their life is beneficial, while others argue that it is
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
 idea to
work
 for many companies.
This
 essay will argue that
although
 working for the same company gives more
benefits
 financially, working at various places gives
Add an article
the employee
an employee
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 a better
work
 experience. Working for a single organisation
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 life
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 advantages
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
employees
Correct quantifier usage
such employees
show examples
 might get more health
benefits
 and
employee
 will receive a larger amount of gratuity on
completion
Correct article usage
the completion
show examples
 of many years in
single
Add an article
a single
show examples
 company.
For instance
, As per RBI salary structure if
employee
Add an article
the employee
an employee
show examples
 works for more than 10 years should receive 15
percentage
Replace the word
percent
show examples
 of their package plus will
be get
Change the verb form
get
show examples
 an advance health
benefits
 card.
On the other hand
,
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
who changes
show examples
changes
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
 from one organisation to another will get a chance to
work
 on many systems and
this
 helps in gaining more knowledge.
In addition
 to
this
, learning new technologies will be an advantage to
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 paid higher.
For example
, In I.T industry employees
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 paid because they
expertise
Add a missing verb
have expertise
show examples
 in many skills
this
 is because they worked in many different
work
 cultures. To conclude, Working for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
one organisation only have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
benefits
, When compared with working at many companies gives good experience and high salaries.
Submitted by yasaswini.gopisetty on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • stability
  • loyalty
  • seniority
  • job satisfaction
  • rapidly changing job market
  • adapt to
  • work culture
  • career progression
  • network
  • diversity of experience
  • adaptability
  • career aspirations
  • dynamic nature
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