Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

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Evidence shows
upgraded
Correct word choice
that upgraded
show examples
societies have paid attention to
people
Use synonyms
who choose
science
Use synonyms
for education.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, there are countless music and art experts who do not
be hold
Change the verb form
be held
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in enough
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
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of
Change preposition
to
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society. I believe
science
Use synonyms
and technology should be more appreciated owing to a number of convincing reasons. The most remarkable reason is that technology and
science
Use synonyms
are growing up every
second
Linking Words
and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life easier. Take medicine which is absolutely necessary as the most essential example; Even
people
Use synonyms
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
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difficult illnesses are capable of living much longer by taking new medicines.
However
Linking Words
,
show
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
the real meaning of life, music and art are able to feed
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
soul. Scientists and
also
Linking Words
technology experts helped the country to develop, have got
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
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income.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is logical that parents pay attention to their children's education in
science
Use synonyms
more than art. In conclusion, the valuation of
people
Use synonyms
followed
Correct pronoun usage
who followed
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scientific and technological
educating
Replace the word
education
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is likely to outweigh
Correct pronoun usage
that of
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
music producers and artists. From my point of view, the more
science
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
improved in all sorts of societies, the more
people
Use synonyms
are able to live in better quality and simpler way.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • valued
  • modern society
  • scientists
  • technology experts
  • musicians
  • artists
  • reliance
  • scientific advancements
  • practical benefits
  • driving economic growth
  • daily lives
  • culture
  • human emotions
  • express ideas
  • provoke thought
  • spiritual well-being
  • emotional well-being
  • preserving cultural heritage
  • subjective nature
  • diversity
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