IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are an essential part of education and every school should include them in its syllabus.Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #art #subjects #music #drama #part #education #school #syllabus
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While some
children
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 enjoy
art
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 classes at school, others might feel frustrated during those activities. Though I do not think that
art
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 lessons should be obligatory for every high school syllabus, I am assured that
art
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 education might be profoundly
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beneficial
benefitial
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beneficial
 for every child in elementary school. I will support my opinion with
arguments
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the arguments
show examples
 and examples below.
First
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,
art
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 education can help kids to develop a range of self, social, and cognitive skills, which are transferable in any area of
child
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childhood
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 and adult life. Drawing can teach anyone how to focus and be attentive to details; drama encourages us to train empathy and develop strong communication and collaboration skills; music reveals hidden
harmomy
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harmony
 and math behind sounds.
Moreover
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, arts equip humans with different
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ways
show examples
was
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ways
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 of learning: more subjective, emotional, and introspective.
This
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 can help
children
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 to understand themselves and
world
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the world
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 around
in
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them in
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different
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a different
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perispective
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perspective
perspectives
comparing
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compared
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 to,
for example
Linking Words
, scientific approaches. All these benefits provide young people with wider opportunities to explore themselves
on
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in
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 early life stages and prepare for their future.
Second
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, arts take different forms and present kids
a
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with a
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range of opportunities to discover something that will resonate with nearly everyone. Quiet and introspective kids might prefer
beauty
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the beauty
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 of painting and drawing. Expressive and physically active
children
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 might find that dances are a great channel to express themselves. It is not that important which
art
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 form a kid might choose. What is more important is that any
art
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 activity might become a solid foundation for building a child`s confidence and identity. To conclude, I do think that the more
children
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 are exposed to different
art
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 activities, the wider opportunity for
self exploration
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self-exploration
show examples
 they will get. That would surely help
children
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 to become more
selfaware
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self-aware
self aware
 and, hopefully, fulfilled adults.
Submitted by glebkamenetsky on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Curricula
  • Foster creativity
  • Emotional development
  • Cultural awareness
  • Global citizenship
  • Historical perspectives
  • Enhance academic performance
  • Communication
  • Employability
  • Soft skills
  • Problem-solving
  • Mental health
  • Stress reduction
  • Cultural appreciation
  • Diverse cultures
  • Interdisciplinary
  • Self-expression
  • Holistic education
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