Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead.

Nowadays, it is thought that
to spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
money
in the sphere of arts, music and theatre is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
garbage.
This
essay will explain how the positive sides of doing so outweigh the negative ones.
To begin
with, visual art is
admirable
Add an article
an admirable
show examples
activity not only among youth,
however
Correct word choice
but however
show examples
, among adults
also
. Because society is separated
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
two categories, both exact
people
and humanitarian individuals and investing
money
just for public services can close not only
talents
Correct article usage
the talents
show examples
of
people
, but
also
their dreams and future.
Additionally
, we must admit that the world is full of
rainbow
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rainbows
show examples
and colourful paints. Without
them
Add a comma
,them
show examples
we would live in white and black tones, in tedious theme.
Therefore
, it is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
duty of the government to provide painters and artists with
money
and facilities.
Furthermore
, it is a tremendous chance for
people
who have
aptitude
Add an article
the aptitude
an aptitude
show examples
,
however
, by the reason of job or family positions to work out at home. Government should invest some
money
for them to run their own career. They will get
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
from home even. Turning to the opposite side of the statement, nowadays social aspects
such
as IT, business, science and technologies are paid
a
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apply
show examples
huge attention.
Moreover
, as I mentioned above world consists
also
people
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of people
show examples
who are interested in exact and serious science. And
this
type of
people
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person
show examples
consider
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considers
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
art and music
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
just
an
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apply
show examples
entertainment,
for
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
fun. These individuals do not want to waste their valuable time and cash. To conclude,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
must not close the way of humanitarian
people
who adore art. They should be given all needs to do their job with pleasure.
These category
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This category
These categories
show examples
of
people
beatify
Correct your spelling
beautify
show examples
our world and give some bright tints to our lives
Submitted by aristocratca on

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When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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