IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays many people choose to be self empoyed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.Why might this be the case?What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Employment is one of the most
Correct your spelling
important
improtant
Correct your spelling
important
 problems that many
people
Use synonyms
 face.
However
Linking Words
, whether or not
people
Use synonyms
 should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be self-
empoyed
Correct your spelling
employed
 is a controversial issue. In my opinion,
although
Linking Words
 there are some advantages in
work
Use synonyms
 for
Correct your spelling
themselves
themseves
Correct your spelling
themselves
,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
we cannot ignore more disadvantages. It is obvious that self-employed can help
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 to resolve
Correct your spelling
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployement
show examples
unemployement
Correct your spelling
unemployment
 problem.
Firstly
Linking Words
, with advanced technology, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 choose
Use synonyms
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
 for themselves.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the government can focus on other
Correct your spelling
aspects
expect
espect
Correct your spelling
aspects
,
such
Linking Words
 as
Correct your spelling
education
edutation
Correct your spelling
education
; public health and public traffic, etc.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
choose
Correct pronoun usage
who choose
show examples
 to be self-employed can
Correct your spelling
control
contral
Correct your spelling
control
 their
time
Use synonyms
, they do not need to meet rush hour
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 and they can choose their
Correct your spelling
flexible
flexable
Correct your spelling
flexible
time
Use synonyms
 to finish their job.
Thirdly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can make their decision freely,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means they
Correct your spelling
have a chance
havechance
Correct your spelling
have chance
 to choose what kind of
business
Use synonyms
 they will start.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who learned
business
Use synonyms
 management
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
, they can choose to establish a shop.
people
Use synonyms
 who learned
machinning
Correct your spelling
machining
 technology,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
 a factory, and
people
Use synonyms
 who learned computer science,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can open a shop online like Amazon.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 for themselves has
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of benefits. Meanwhile, I believe
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 self-employed
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more downsides.
Firstly
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 who want to open their own
business
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 enough money. They can only borrow money from their friends and families. That will give them
lots
Change preposition
under lots
show examples
 of pressure.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if the
first
Linking Words
business
Use synonyms
 was failed,
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 will lose
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 ambitions for a long
time
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 dare to join any party because
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
or
her
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
first
Linking Words
 shop was
breakdown
Add an article
a breakdown
the breakdown
show examples
.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, with strong pressure, they cannot take
time
Use synonyms
 to have a rest, they have to
work
Use synonyms
 all the
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that it is very harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 their health. In conclusion,
Correct your spelling
although
althouth
Correct your spelling
although
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 self-employed have some benefits,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I think
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who
haven’t
Add a missing verb
do haven’t
show examples
 some resources and enough money, they need to think about it very carefully. The
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
disadvantges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweith
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outwith
 the advantages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: