many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, wich causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. do you agree or diagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #wich #health #people #diagree

it is said that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

most of the produced food and drink have high grades of sugar. so, it causes many illnesses in humans. the cost of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sweet products should be increased to persuade costumers to eat less sugar.

Change the capitalization

show examples

agree strongly with

this

statement

Replace the word

too

show examples

large

Add an article

a large

show examples

extent due to

growth

Correct article usage

the growth

show examples

of global obesity and getting various types of

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

. some

people

believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

not only do sugary foods have advantages

Change preposition

for

show examples

people

, but

also

help them to increase their blood pressure and enhance their brain workout.

however

Change the capitalization

show examples

refuse to think that

Correct your spelling

science

since

sience

Correct your spelling

science

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

should be consumed sparingly to not only have

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

beneficial aspects on its own, but

also

you can make sure about your

body

Change noun form

body's

show examples

health too.

for instance

people

should use cookies once a week. so after a while, they

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

need more sugary things. another reason is that, if

people

continue to consume these sorts of products, they will gain weight. so, in

Correct article usage

the next

show examples

decades, we will face

this

issue of

excussive

Correct your spelling

excessive

obesity in the world.

for example

people

will not able to accomplish their daily work as

easy

Change the word

easily

show examples

as ordinary

people

do.

in addition

, it causes negative impacts on heart function.

also

, diabetic diseases are included. if

people

get sick through excessive usage of

unhaelthy

Correct your spelling

unhealthy

meals , they have to spend

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of money to cure

Correct your spelling

themselves

themselfs

Correct your spelling

themselves

. often, they

forced

Add a missing verb

are forced

show examples

to buy expensive medicines. so , it can be a problematic situation for them. to conclude, if you eat healthy foods and drinks, you will have

longer

Add an article

a longer

show examples

life span and you are able to be in shape during your life.

also

, it is important to be aware of the percentage of fat in the food

Correct your spelling

which

show examples

wich

Correct your spelling

which

show examples

you consume.

Submitted by anitashayegan1383 on Mon Nov 07 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Shops should not be allowed to sell food and drinks tha are scientifically proven to be bad for people's health. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, there are many products that unhealthy effects on people as proven by scientists. That's a reason for some people's requirement to avoid selling such products and drinks. I can't say that I have the unambiguous solution for this extension, but I am convinced that every stick has two ends. First and foremost, we have many examples from the world history of such bans. For instance, the dry law in the US in the 30th years of the 20th century, or the same law in the USSR in the 80th. The result of such laws were appearance of illegal alcoholic drinks, sometimes they were poisoned, and people died or became handicapped after they had drunk them. It's always the question of supply and demand. Moreover, from these examples, we can study that direct avoidance can have the opposite effect on people.
5
band
some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion
The rasio of unemployment is high. The uneducated people face a lot of problems and upcoming poor situations. on the other hand, Well-educated people live luxury lives.Both situations and my opinion will be discussed in this essay.
5.5
band
Some people believe that when deciding how taxpayers' money is spent, governments should prioritise health care, while others believe that there are other priorities to spend this money.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
When determining how taxpayers' money should be allocated, governments face the crucial task of prioritizing sectors that will most effectively contribute to the well-being and development of their nations. The debate often centers around whether health care should take precedence over other areas of spending, such as education, infrastructure, or defense. Both perspectives hold valid arguments, and the ideal approach may lie in finding a balanced allocation that addresses immediate needs while also investing in long-term national growth.
6
band
In many developing countries, there is an increasing movement of workers from rural areas into cities. Why do you think this happen? What problems can this cause.
In this day and age, there is a vast expanse of the consumption of sweetened goods, which is known as a prominent element resulting in a number of related issues. I do believe that raising the price of this kind of product is considered a noticeable solution to have this tendency restrained. This essay will analyze and discuss the divergent reasons along with my own perspective.
5
band
Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples.
Nowadays every home has at least one pet. It argues that having pets at home is beneficial for kids. While others think that, it is harmful and not a healthy option. I agree that keeping pets is unhealthy and it causes many problems to kids. This essay will discuss both these views and explain my opinions in the ensuing paragraphs.

many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, wich causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. do you agree or diagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Shops should not be allowed to sell food and drinks tha are scientifically proven to be bad for people's health. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that when deciding how taxpayers' money is spent, governments should prioritise health care, while others believe that there are other priorities to spend this money.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many developing countries, there is an increasing movement of workers from rural areas into cities. Why do you think this happen? What problems can this cause.

Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples.