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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think the best way to improve road safety is to increase minimum legal age for driving cars and motorcycles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today’s society, many young
people
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 have driver’s licenses.
Traffic
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 accidence
are
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is
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 easy to happen with cars, so
traffic
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safety
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 is very important in our life. some
people
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 think that the government should raise the legal driving
age
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, which will effectively improve
road
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safety
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. But I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view. Admittedly,
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
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minimum
Add an article
the minimum
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 legal
age
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 for driving cars and motorcycles can improve
road
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safety
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. Some senior high school students, whose minds are immature, like to seek excitement, which will enable them to get their driver’s
license
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 quickly at the legal
age
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, and the speed will be very fast after they get on the
road
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, so it is very easy to have
traffic
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 accidences, which will have a bad influence on the
road
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.
In addition
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, out of curiosity about cars or motorcycles, they may choose to take a driver’s
license
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 when they just turn
the
Correct article usage
apply
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age
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, which will bring life danger to
the
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apply
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society. But
this
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 situation is not absolute.
First
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 of all, it
not
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is not
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 only young
people
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 who are more prone to
traffic
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 accidences. Some middle
age
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 and elderly
people
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also
Linking Words
 have accidents. So raising the
age
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 to improve
road
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safety
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in
Correct your spelling
is
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not
Add an article
the not
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only
Correct article usage
the only
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 way. There are many other ways. The government can increase the difficulty or reduce the passing rate of driving
test
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tests
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.
This
Linking Words
 can effectively make more candidates remember the knowledge of
traffic
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safety
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, which is conducive to improving
traffic
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safety
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.
For example
Linking Words
, it was not difficult to get a driver's
license
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 before, but with the development of society, it has gradually become more difficult to get a driver's
license
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 in the construction of
road
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 facilities, which has
also
Linking Words
 improved
road
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safety
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 in recent years.
On the other hand
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,
traffic
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safety
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 education should permeate all aspects. Let citizens consciously accept
road
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safety
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 education and improve their awareness of safe driving.
Traffic
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 police should receive more professional training
,
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apply
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 so that they can direct
traffic
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 more accurately and improve
the
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apply
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safe driving in the morning rush hour or evening rush hour.
In addition
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, some
road
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 signs should be clearer and more accurate. All these methods can improve
road
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safety
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. It is not the only way to improve
road
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safety
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 by raising the driving
age
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. So I disagree
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
 view. All in all, raising the legal
age
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 to drive a car or motorcycle is not the only way to ensure
road
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safety
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, and there are many ways to improve
road
Use synonyms
safety
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.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • minimum legal age
  • road safety
  • driving/riding
  • maturity
  • decision-making abilities
  • risky behavior
  • graduated driving programs
  • extended learning periods
  • strict testing
  • continuous education
  • advanced driver training
  • traffic laws enforcement
  • advanced driver-assistance systems (ADAS)
  • accidents reduction
  • statistical evidence
  • real-world examples
  • public awareness campaigns
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