IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that a police force carrying guns will encourage a higher level of violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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I disagree with the statement that
armed
Correct article usage
an armed
show examples
police
Use synonyms
force
Use synonyms
 would promote a greater degree of violence. A number of arguments surround my opinion. My first argument to support my viewpoint is that
guns
Use synonyms
 would, to a large extent, deter the potential
criminals
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'
Police
Use synonyms
 officers are those who are responsible for taking care of all the citizens, safety and wearing
guns
Use synonyms
 could largely make sure of
this
Linking Words
.
For example
Linking Words
, if someone has the intention to commit a
crime
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, he would think twice about doing so if there
is
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
police
Use synonyms
 carrying
guns
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 on patrol.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the level of violence would decrease rather than go up.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
criminals
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 usually have
guns
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 and so,
police
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 officers need them in order to
control
Use synonyms
crime
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.
lnstead
Correct your spelling
Instead
 of taking
guns
Use synonyms
 away from the
police
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, it is more important to make laws against
theguns
Correct your spelling
the guns
 general public having
guns
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. Countries with weak or ineffective gun laws, or countries bordering
such
Linking Words
 countries, like Mexico which has strong 8un laws, but virtually no way to prevent them from being smuggled over the border from the U.S.,need a
police
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force
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that is
Linking Words
 not only armed
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but is armed
befterthan
Correct your spelling
better than
 the
criminals
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. Opponents claim that
police
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 in the U.K. are able to go without
guns
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 and
also
Linking Words
 have
crime
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 in
control
Use synonyms
. They have a point but I believe that
crime
Use synonyms
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 is under
control
Use synonyms
 because they are able to
control
Use synonyms
 the flow of
guns
Use synonyms
 to the general populace.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I reiterate my point that
Use synonyms
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
force
Use synonyms
 should carry
guns
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.
To sum up
Linking Words
, because
criminals
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 can easily come into possession of
guns
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,
therefore
Linking Words
 the
police
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force
Use synonyms
 needs to be armed. Armed
police
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 in itself could never be a cause of increased violence. Nations around the world should hope to someday reach the point where their
police
Use synonyms
force
Use synonyms
 can afford not to carry
guns
Use synonyms
 and still be effective.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • law enforcement
  • escalate
  • deter
  • overreaction
  • perceived safety
  • misuse of power
  • deterrent effect
  • law and order
  • public safety
  • crime prevention
  • civil liberties
  • use of lethal force
  • accountability
  • arms race
  • militarization
  • social fabric
  • statistical evidence
  • cultural attitudes
  • criminal behavior
  • policy implications
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